please help me, it hurts too bad.

My boyfriend and I broke up about four weeks ago. We wanted to try again if we were in better places in our lives after he got back from his road trip. We were both going through so much more than we should have in our lives, and we just couldn’t give the other person what they needed. After we broke up he was still texting me everyday and wanting to meet up and hang out, he wanted to be friends immediately. I found out he was hooking up with a girl we know, and it hurt me. I know we’re broken up and he can sleep with whoever he wants, but he was still telling me he loved me and wanted to be together when he could treat me the way I deserve and it hurt too much. I called him and told him I understood, but it hurt too much to see him with this girl, and I wanted some distance and to not talk for a while. He freaked out and started yelling, telling me he was an awful person and I should move on knowing he’s an ass hole and i should never speak to him again. He thought I was trying to cause drama when I asked if he was sleeping with her.
after we ended that conversation (not the full conversation I wanted to have because he was freaking out and I couldn’t talk t I him like that) I told him I didn’t like how we ended things and I wanted to talk when he was feeling better.
it’s been about a week and he hasn’t called. Everyday he doesn’t call is a day he is not choosing me, and I know I need to move on since there is no guarantee he will choose me, but I can’t seem to do it.
I miss him so much, and I still love him, I can’t cope with the way he’s behaving, it’s completely out of character and it’s upsetting. I just want to talk to him and ask what the hell is going on in his head, but I feel like I have tried and tried and the next move is his. How can I move I need from this? how can I cope with the man I wanted to spend my life with (and he told me after we broke up that he thought he would marry me too) choosing to hurt me and not be enough for me? What can I do to make this hurt less?
please just help me, every breath I take feels like a waste without him, and it hurts so much I can hardly get through the day.

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Kitty

4 Answers

Listen...there is no guarantee that he'll come back, good you know that...now i know he seems like he means the world to you...also after saying that, but yo to be real honest with you...there are some assholes out there...smart ones that they think that they can get away with whatever they want...they think theyre slick....and maybe your ex was one of em... (how do i have this assumption...well because i was one of the assholes)...hes hooking up with another chick...and yet still trying to come back to you...but is he? ever thought he just wanted to date more than one lady?....listen...its best to move on....theres no point on waiting...start to meet other people....try to not think about it...and just to warn you what might happen if you do keep on thinking about him...heres a result of what might happen.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4D-8l2b0zcnow watch this...and make the girl=your ex and put you in the story... hope this helps....

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Connor.

There is nothing you can do to make it hurt any less then does, its a point blank answer to your question but it is the truth of the matter. But with that said I can tell you that if you try and take it one day at a time you will move past this. I know too the feeling of finding a person you once wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and then losing them because of one thing or another. An it wasn't easy to start walking forward, when you love someone the reasons why don't really seem to matter you just want them in your life. You care deeply about this person that is clear, but I think you may have to start moving forward with your life without him in it. Try to surround yourself with people who make you happy, people who will encourage you and make you smile, and most importantly talk about it with others. Keeping all this emotion in will only make you feel worse, its not my right to say this person is worth crying over or not because I am not you, I can't feel exactly what you feel. But I can tell you that you have your own life very much like he has his, and there is someone out there who will make you happy if not more. I know this is going to be a slow process so if you ever need to vent more or just need to get out of your own head, you can always send me a message.

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Andy.F

You'll learn to live with it.
I'm sorry, I really wish I could actually help you, but that's all I've got. I went through something kind of similar (except she was a complete bitch about it from the beginning), and I just eventually... got used to it, I suppose. Keep your mind off it as much as you can, that's the best advice I can give

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It's a Secret to Everybody

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Breathe!

Time. You both need time away from one another with zero contact so that you can "detox" off of the relationship and think straight. Your relationship could have failed for a number of reasons, it is too soon to tell. For now, go your separate ways and see how things play out when you've had time to get the drama and stress off of your shoulders.

If you'd like to discuss this further, my inbox is always open at blahtherapy.com/members/blackholehead

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Humanist Hope

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