my boyfriend always do the things that he knew will get me mad. a already told him that i don’t like it every time he go out and drink with his friends but he did that 2 times, i got mad at him, and he’s like: “im just having a good time with my friends,im not doing anything wrong”. but that;s not my point, my point is he can’t make the same sacrifice as i do. im avoiding all those things for our relationship, i feel like his taking me for granted. what do you think? am i having a wrong thought? what should i do? please help.
I totally understand you dear. I have been in your situation. My guy used to get on my nerves doing things i hate. It is frustrating. I want you to know that you can not change another person and make them suited for you unless the person himself have desire to change it. I think a relationship needs some sacrifice too but sometimes we don't have control over the other person. He might feel like-the things he do is normal, there i no point in changing, and you are overreacting. On the other hand, you might feel mad and neglected due to such activities. The thing is you and he are different person, it is likely that you have difference in opinion. It is normal for you to think so. I suggest you to talk to him nicely and tell him how hurtful his activities have been, explain the sacrifices you have done and you expect the same. However, never force him to change. He will change automatically if he cares enough. If its getting worse, remember, some people just don't get alone well. You have to find someone who already fits into your good definition of partner (someone who is naturally sacrificial in nature and does not do things that gets on your nerves and ... you know better). Good luck. I know you will sort things out. Until then try to focus on good things, enjoy your own life, and stay happy :). Take care. Everything will be alright :).
Honestly, I had an entirely different response until I saw your previous posts about your boyfriend. I don't think this is a healthy relationship at all, I think it's one that should probably end. There's been cheating, obsession, and a boatload of trust issues on both sides; to me that screams END IT NOW. In one of your previous posts, blahtherapist Michael. had a great reply, one that I think you should reconsider: Hi Chinadoll,First and most important: No this isn't normal, but it's really good you noticed a problem in your behavior and want to fix it. I think you're having some really bad anxiety or depression issues and they're manifesting themselves as an obsession with your boyfriend. Do you feel these strong anxious feelings when you're physically with them? I'm going to assume you don't. If I'm right though part of the obsession is you're using your BF as a form of self-medication to help with your anxiety/depression issues, and when they're not around you don't have your drug so to speak so the problems begin to manifest.I would recommend you talk to a doctor or therapist and possibly getting a more accurate diagnosis, and from there you can start to address some of these problems more effectively. I think he's spot on, and that you need to address whatever is going on with you. I genuinely wish you all the luck with this, because I don't think this will be an easy road to go down, but it will be one that's worth travelling.
well i think you need to give him a break to realize your importance in his life. if he is not serious the way you are then he needs to understand it himself.
*talk to him about this
*understand if he wants some space in a relation
*figure out why going out and drinking is so important to him
also you should not try to manage things with anger because it is not going to help and don,t be hard on him or don't try to control him. try to make him understand why you dislike this behavior.
tell him what changes he has been through since the beginning of the relation.PS- if nothing works and and he doesn't give a shit about your feelings, it's time to change your boyfriend !
well first off does he know that you have given that up for the sake of the relationship? If so try explaining why. If he is in a relationship with you he probably does care but you need to explain things to him. Guys are not psychic, we do not know what sets off a girl unless it is explained to us. I could be reading into this a little to much but it doesn't sound like you have told him why it bothers you.
And in all honesty 2 times does not make a pattern. If he says that he isn't doing anything wrong just say that it bothers you for whatever reason. Use facts and try to stay with them during the conversations. A lot of misunderstandings occur because guys tend to be a bit less emotional then girls. Fact: you don't like him drinking Fact: he knows this. Fact: this is why you don't like it. Fact: you gave it up for the relationship. you get the drill. I wish you all the best