Please help. brokenhearted :(

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My ex girlfriend and I lived together for 5yrs. Its been 8 months since we broke up. Love was never an issue between us. We’re both girls, and she cannot tell her family about us. Her family knows about me, I met all her sisters and they loved me. But they didn’t we’re a couple. So we decided to end it coz its getting really complicated. I loved her so much that I don’t want her to suffer. She has a boyfriend now, I’m not seeing anybody. Then just recently she messaged me saying she cant help but compare me to him. That she’s the happiest when we’re together, that she’s sure we will still be laughing until we get old. That she’s not sure if she would stay with him. She was crying telling me she wouldnt find someone like me, I’m her soulmate. I told her I feel the same way, how much I love her and her family. We were both crying. we want each other back but I dont think that will happen. I want her to be happy. I just dont know what to do. :(

Category: Tags: asked May 4, 2014

5 Answers

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Well, I think if this is a serious relationship then the obvious thing to do would be to come out and tell everyone about what went on between you two, express that it's never been the same and that you love one another too much. People should be able to understand, especially because your sexuality doesn't really matter much nowadays, it;s easier for people to come out and have relationships and I don't think you should be scared of anyone knowing. If you love one another enough, then you would feel proud about being able to tell everyone :) I know it's a big step, but if you ever want to be together; it's what you're going to have to do.
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People do the most foolish things for the most foolish of reasons. She loves you and wants to be with you, but if she hasn't told you what is holding her back, she likely won't, but you are free to ask, just be gentle about talking to her, but tell her that if you want to be with her and if she wants to be with you that nothing else matters, that boyfriend shouldn't be an obstacle, he's just a rebound.

Cherish the time you spent together and it will sustain you throughout your life. Good memories are meant to be our lifelong fuel.

I know it hurts now, Miss Ira, but don't let the pain get to you, your life hasn't ended. You've just taken a very rough curve.

If you ever need to talk or just vent, my inbox is always open.
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Perhaps what you both need right now is just some space to think about things with a clear head...maybe plan a spa weekend or something?
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The only way that this relationship will ever work is if her family knows about you two. And it is unreasonable of this girl to keep tugging on your heart strings and upsetting you while she decides if she actually wants to come out. Of course I realise coming out isn't as black and white as that, and she feels she has a lot at stake. In my opinion, you need to have a serious and frank conversation about whether she has any intention of coming out to her family. If she does, then perhaps give her the space, time and support to do so. However if she seems uncertain and not keen, then it is not fair for you to hold on and not fair for her to expect you to hold on to something that may never happen.Giving an ultimatum may make her suddenly realise what it is she really wants, whether that's a relationship with you or not. And whilst her saying she doesn't want you will seem like the end of the world, you are strong enough to move passed it. You have survived this long, remember.Essentially my advice would be to be selfish. Have the conversation. Make a decision. And either set yourself free to find someone who will truly make you the centre of their world, or (permitting she will tell her family) hold on and support this girl.xx
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Thank you so much guys. These really helped me a lot. Thanks again @Resourceful Basket, @Jonathan, @marvelloustwig, @Thistle.