Overcoming being shy


So i’m shy. but its different… it’s like shy… but to the point where i cant do anything…if there’s somebody around i get scared and nervous..i guess it could be anxiety as well..im not sure. it just…its hurts..because i see a group of people like at the pool and i cant even get in the pool, much less barely make it to the pool and sit there… i just cant do it.. im so scared. i like people…i love talking to people..online..but in person..its like..i hate myself so so sooo much. and i just know others will. im so weird and i freak people out. i have no idea how to carry on a simple conversation. im terrible at it. im always so scared..it brings me to tears.. i just dont know what to do..my parents think im just rude and hate the world.i dont hate the world. i try and spread good vibes everywhere i go..but its hard to do that when you have such a terrible time with even being around people..i just..would really like some advice.. sorry for rambling.

Category: Tags: asked July 2, 2014

3 Answers

you're doing a good thing by bringing it here. that's smart and will support your progress into becoming less shy. keep talking about your fears with people. that will help them to dissipate. have courage. you will get through this.
wildcat - just so everyone else knows, it does seem weird that i cant be in a room full of people without freaking out but i can post a picture of me in my rave outfit. yeah, contradictory. im just very body positive. i have no fear of that because even though i hate myself, i try and spread good vibes and help others, mostly girls, see that they can love their body and flaunt it because hey, we all have beautiful amazing bodies. even if i myself cant stand my body somtimes and even if i just sometimes hate myself to the point of relapsing and cutting, i still try and maintain the good vibes and spreading the whole mindset of loving oneself.
Just be the same as you are online, natural, yourself, and if people don't like it, too bad, but there'll be people who like it as well. Remember you have nothing to lose by living and being yourself. I don't really think it's shyness. I think it's more social anxiety, where you might start to imagine things such as "What will they think of me? What will happen? Do they hate me? What if I mess up?". It's normal to wonder those things, but there's a point where it's unhealthy as you may have probably notice. It's a fear, a fear of undisclosed expectations you suppose they have. You see people looking at you, staring at you, they might think positively, negatively or neutral of you, you don't know. Imagine they're thinking the most negative things about you, that they hate you and despise you. Wouldn't you feel like not caring then? Not caring about them? And if you don't care about their opinion, and that you're being yourself and at ease, you'll enjoy yourself. If you see them as they like you, you will think you could make them hate you if you mess up or something. If you see them as they are neutral towards you, it's the same as above. See them as they hate you, that way the only thing that can happen is they become neutral towards you or they like you. It doesn't mean you have to hate them, you can still be polite, yourself and sympathetic despite that. For example, if I were to meet you face to face, and you'd think automatically that I hated you, but you'd have no reason to hate me on the other hand or not be sympathetic as you don't know me, wouldn't you feel at ease and not caring about what I may think then? Then we talk, you're at ease, the anxiety's gone, and bam, you realize that I don't hate you in reality. Yeah, my advice is basically to hate people... Now that I think of it it's quite terrible haha, but hey, just remember you have nothing to lose in being yourself :)