Not Social enough?

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So i just started highschool last week and its not really that bad to be honest..its just some minor things that get me really depressed like getting seperated from one of my closest friends… and she doesnt really seem to care so i am sort of trying to forget about her… at the same time i dont because i longed for a ‘best’ friend like her and i was so happy to be her best friend but she doesnt really act like it. she has her own group ( the girly girl/social/cute/happy girls) and i have mine.. consisting of just 2 girls … me and mah weeaboo babe, dont get me wrong i love here to death. But for some reason i get that ashamed feeling when its just us two … i want to be in a group with the cool happy bubbly girls but i dont even know how to socialize anymore.. if i talked to girls like that theyd just turn me down or make fun of me or something. And even the other ‘friends’ that i have now dont even talk to me let alone even say hi. i see them but its like their social status would be ruined if they were caught talking to me. Plus theres this guy i used to like ( which i am trying to get over but its not very easy ) still glances at me every now and then and im not sure he likes me or not… he did it all last year even after i told him i liked him but when i confessed he just said he wanted to be friends and we never really talked after that but he still looks and such. this guy is really confusing. I want to get out there and talk to people. Im tired of always feeling alone inside a big crowded room. i cry inside when i see all of my friends in middle school with all their new friends knowing i have made none. I cry inside when i see people look at me and just look for someone else and get to know them. I cry inside when my friends ditch for someone they barely know. This all doesnt help my depression at all … someone please help

asked September 11, 2014

5 Answers

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Just a quick comment, high school doesn't last forever. Don't reject someone who will gladly support you beyond high school. The relationships that you create with others will last you're entire life. Never feel ashamed of who you're friends are. Ignore popularity and try to be comfortable with your way of life. Gain self confidence, be comfortable, and have fun.
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Hi there. I'm going to go along with what wokfx111 said and elaborate a bit.

"High school doesn't last forever," no it doesn't. After high school, you'll have the rest of your life (and high school isn't over yet, it's just begun!) to meet new people.

"Don't reject someone who will support you beyond high school...Ignore popularity." This is the point I will mostly elaborate on. Put yourself in your friends' shoes for a moment. I mean the friend who you love to death, who probably loves you to death, who hangs out with you etc. Please consider that she may realize or feel like you're using them as a temporary placeholder for the 'real' friends you'll make in x amount of time. If they feel replaceable, and you only hang around them because you have no one else to hang out with, they will realize this, and they will leave you as well. Trust me when I say that although you may want to be a part of the popular group now, if that friend leaves you because of how much you want to be in another group, you'll feel a thousand times worse. That's not to mention if others feel that you're ashamed of your friend, or aren't confident enough in yourself, or that you feel desperate (harsh word, I'm sorry) to be a part of the popular group, people won't want to be close to you (relationship-wise).

Instead of trying to get people to become your friends, just based on popularity (which comes off a little shallow) try to join a club or sport that you love (potentially with that great friend you have now), and you'd be surprised with how many even greater people there are beyond the popular group.

The only sentence I don't agree with is that your relationships last throughout your life. Now don't get me wrong, they definitely can last throughout your life. Of all my friends in high school, I still talk to a few, but the one amazing person who stuck by me who I love to death and who loves me to death, we're still the best of friends. People come and go in your life. You may never forget them, but many friendships aren't set in stone. People change, and you're young. Again, don't throw away something you already have just because something looks good. The popular group only ever shows their good side. Many times, it's actually safer to stay away from them!

Anyways, I hope you learn that what I'm saying has some sense, and that you learn to meet people with confidence, and mostly, to appreciate the people who are already in your life. All the best etc.
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well for starters,there isnt such a thing as "too social" or "not social enough" its whatever you feel comfortable showing people...and some people,like me, have trouble speaking or even being around a group of people and there are others who are just naturally charismatic its something youre born with but it can be taught just think the worst they can do is turn you down i mean you cant be anymore not friends with them than you already are and so the hell what if they laugh at you...be proud of yourself for taking that bold step out of your comfort zone... and if they are the kind of people who would laugh...then they arent going to be good friends anyway try to find people that would make your life better not worse the kind that want the best for you and would never make you feel out of place...but no matter what break the thought and mental stereotype of "not social enough" because remember even though it might sound selfish its just looking out for yourself but ITS ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR COMFORT
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I can't agree enough with justaspeck and wolfxx. Highschool isn't forever, and that feeling you have about wanting to be with those 'cool' girls, let me tell you something.
Those girls might treat you okay for a while, but if they are the 'queen bees' of your school, you might find that you don't like yourself at the end or how they treat others. You say they laugh at you already and you hate the way you feel about that. They won't change that behaviour once you join, instead, they'll expect you to behave in the same manner, making fun of others to validate their own self worth.
Be good to that friend you have. High school is a shit place and those people who are the stars now? There's that old saying, "you peaked in high school." Just something to keep in the back of your mind.
Get involved in some clubs/societies or activities with your interests. Do you like to draw, paint? Play music or sports? Perhaps chess or science or math clubs? What about theatre, either on-stage performance or behind the scenes in creating costumes and sets (Set crew can be a lot of fun!). Are you religious? Most schools might have a Christian or Muslim or Jewish society. Debate teams, school newspaper, latin clubs. There are plenty of things you can do to meet people and perhaps not feel so alone
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easiest way to start getting more social find attractive people and start flirting not serious but just the causal stuff and yeah it will feel a lot more natural that way then just going up to someone cold turkey.