Not being good enough for a parent.

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I’m never good enough for my mom. She always judges me on everything I do. I mean I get her on why she does it, since I used to be kind of bad. But I’ve changed, and that was a year ago. I listen to her more, don’t talk back, and help her. But she over exaggerates, saying things like ”Oh you never help me, you no good for thing daughter.” And she always brings up the past mistakes I’ve done, always bringing them up. Like for example, if I wanted to hang out with my friends. She would say something like, ”Why is blahblah there? You’re not going to hang out with your friends, you’re just going to hang with that boy.” Blah blah all that. I’m doing my best to do what she wants, but she makes it so difficult. Like if I do one thing to make her mad, she’ll say ”Oh you make me mad, so my blood pressure can go up, because you want me to die, so you can do whatever you want. You’re just like your father, you both want me to die.” She just pushes me way to the edge when I’m trying my best to do what she wants.

Category: Tags: asked August 30, 2013

4 Answers

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accepted
I know it's hard to satisfy parents. I always feel like i'm a disappointment myself. And the past always does find a way to haunt you one way or another. All I can say is, hang in there. Keep proving her wrong because it's always possible to redeem yourself even if it does take time. You can take her criticism now, I mean you couldn't have expected the positive reactions to come immediately, right? Just keep going down the right road and things will gradually start to go your way. Keep letting her know you're trying. I'm working hard to make my parents proud and I know it'll take at least a decade for me to do it, but i'm determined to do it anyway. Like I said, hang in there and make the right choices. Don't fall back into old habits and remain optimistic ^^ I wish you luck.
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I'm sort of in the same situation. I live with my mother and one of my sisters( the other moved out. ). My mother does not clean. That's just it - she doesn't. She puts everything on us, and even when we do what she wants she's always disappointed. She never seems to say thank you for what we've done, and it's very annoying. Especially with the rest of the picture - our daily lives consist of waking up and getting ready for school, and then coming homes and eating something before cleaning. My mother has a dream life. She quit an AMAZING job where she got paid a lot an hour for just answering customer service calls so that she could be a police officer, her dream job. We also asked her that she not be a police officer again because it was dangerous, but of course she doesn't listen. She works all night at that job, comes home and sleeps in the living room on the couch. When she wakes up, she usually invites her friend over and they talk for the afternoon. My mother is also constantly on her phone, which has unlimited everything. My sister and I don't have internet. We come to our grandmother's frequently, and she lets us use her internet. I find the entire situation unfair, but my mother and I are unable to communicate very well. If you want to talk to someone about it, I don't mind!
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If your mother is not proud of you, be proud of yourself. You know you've improved a lot over the past year, who cares what she says? My mother is the same way, and I've been living on my own for over three years. Find someone that is proud of you, a teacher at school, or maybe you could do some volunteer work, or get a job?Making yourself proud is always the best place to start, others will feel it.
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Technically, the things she's saying are evidence of emotional abuse. I went through it for 10+ years. Get a professional involved if you can. Your mother needs to know it's *not* okay to treat her child this way. If she can't forgive your past mistakes, that's on her, not you.
But like the others said, continue doing what you're doing as well. Prove her wrong. Show her you're not bad, show her the kind of person you are. She'll feel dumb at some point.
I don't have much else to say because others already said it but I do wish you the best of luck.
If you ever want to vent, feel free to message me!