Needy friend

I have a friend who I love dearly but she is so needy it’s draining sometimes. She gets mad at me if I don’t hang out with her several times a week. She gets mad at me for watching a movie she wanted to see. But when she does these things to me I don’t get mad at all because it doesn’t matter. It’s so draining sometimes because I work 40 hours a week and she doesn’t and she just doesn’t get it sometimes with my schedule and seeing my boyfriend and my other friends and even my own family can be a lot. I can’t make plans with her several times a week and ignore everyone else. She just doesn’t get it and talking to her about this only makes it worse. The last few months I’ve just been hanging out with her about once a week which isn’t enough for her apparently and she gets mad at me for not hanging out with her. We text all the time too. Ugh it’s just so draining sometimes and I have my own things to deal with too.

Tags: friends friendships asked February 16, 2015

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butteredtoast

5 Answers

People are like that sadly. They think since they have all the time in the world, others do as well. She just really loves spending time with you which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just try to be a bit more calmer about the situation when trying to make her understand that some time apart might help her figure out things and maybe want to go out and do some things on her own. I've never been in a situation like that so I don't honestly know what to say.

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BrokenShadow

312

You need to calm down and try to tell her that you work a lot and sometimes you don't have enough time to hang out with her. Point out that you guys are already texting all the time too. Try to show her that you really love her as a friend but that you need some time to yourself as well. Ofcourse, keep hanging out with her but I think until she realizes that you need some time to yourself, she wont let you be. Honestly, theres nothing you can do about it except to try to help her see things like they are. Goodluck.

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Strawberry

489

This can't continue to go on like this for you. Of course this is draining for you. You need to explain to her that you work and that you also see other people. You need to tell her the truth. Even though that's not easy to do, your feelings matter too. If it goes on like this, it won't end well. She can't demand your time like that. You need some space to breathe and to do other things. Take some time for yourself.

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Rain

9,516

Wow, I completely understand where you're coming from. I had the same exact problem for over 3 years from 9th grade to 11th. My friend was draining as you say and the same things you listed had happened to me also. This is highly coincidental reading this post at this time because on Saturday, I ended our friendship. I have to say it has been the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. We were best friends, but I knew that she was sucking the life out of me. I'm not suggesting that you two break things off altogether, but maybe tell her you need a little break and see how you feel. I have felt nothing but happiness since the friendship ended and yes it is surprising but I am so happy with my decision.

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jordan2198

229

Thank you all for your answers I'm not sure about bringing this up but listening to your advice made me feel better thank you all!

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butteredtoast