I’ve dated this guy for a year. Before that, he was my best friend and he was dating my other close friend. When we started dating, she got so angry at me that she told everyone the personal things I once told her, and she started posting really hurtful rumors about me all over the internet. Because of this, however, me and him got really close. He ranted with me and made me feel protected against everyone else. I lost a lot of my friends because of her but he continued to make me feel whole. Our relationship was great in the beginning, but it got so out of control towards the end. I started to get controlling and crazy because I was so attached and so fearful of him ever leaving, and he began to care less and less about me and started caring more about drugs and his friends. When we broke up, I was fine the first few days but after I was begging for him to come back and he told me that he didn’t want a girlfriend anymore, he wanted his freedom. It literally broke my heart to hear that and I spent a whole month and half in a spiral of depression. I cried all the time, lost my appetite, had lack of sleep.. The only things that made me forget was the comfort of another person. So I dated several people and because of that, he got angry with me to the point where, currently, he hates me. He looks at me as if I never meant anything to him. Currently, I am dating this guy. He’s so amazing and I appreciate having him more than anything. Our relationship has this insane mental and physical connection that i’ve never had with anyone else. But recently, I heard my ex has a new girlfriend and I feel really angry over it. We broke up in January 2014 and its October, so I’m still in my recovery stages, but I hate the feeling in my chest that I get over thinking about him and his new girlfriend. Me and my ex have class together and I see him with her all the time so the thought is almost unavoidable but I feel guilty for thinking this way and being in a relationship. I’m very open with my feelings with my boyfriend so everything said is everything he knows. He’s very supportive and listens to me when I have issues. So when I told him this, he told me that maybe I was still in love with the idea of my ex. That’s when I realized that maybe he was right. I know that this is something I have to do on my own. I know that no one can help me realize the truth that’s in front of me but I just need advice on how to accept this. I feel the sooner I accept him and the truth, the sooner I can let go.
