Need advice..


I’m in such a fucked up situation and I just don’t know what to do.
So basically I found out my boyfriend has been talking to other girls. I asked the girl how she knew my boyfriend and she said they had met on Tinder (a dating site), but were only friends and never met in person. They spoke maybe every second or third day. A few months after that I then found out about another girl who claims she apparently dated my boyfriend and met him on Tinder (the same dating site) and even went as far to say they kissed. So when I’ve asked him about the girls and how they say they met him he denies it, says he knew the first girl but they were family friends and he doesn’t know or has never heard of the second. Every time I bring it up he will deny it every time but will get angry (This has been an issue for about 6 months now).. He’s gone as far as to say things like he swears on the life of his family and our relationship that he’s never been unfaithful.
I know that I’m supposed to just trust him, but what if he’s lying? I don’t want to continue to build a relationship with someone based on a lie.

This is what I do know for sure. He did phone the 2nd girl ONCE only and ONE phone call was made to a few other girls as well. But it was only one call to each.
Also, each months text messages sent from his phone to mine are over 1000, during this month i received a total of 200 messages with 1700 text messages and 80 pictures messages sent to number other than mine.

Category: Tags: asked December 18, 2014

5 Answers

His behavior seems very suspicious. Trust only goes so far. Those girls might be speaking the truth. Would they have any reason to make it up? It would be a weird coincidence that they both mentioned the same site. That your boyfriend has sent so many pictures and texts to others doesn't seem so innocent. Sure people can text friends and family, but with that amount of pictures it seems suspicious. Maybe he has been flirting with girls and thinks it's innocent. Sometimes when people are in a relationship, they still tend to flirt with others because they see it as exciting and they just can't get enough of it. They get an adrenaline rush out of it that feels good for them. Usually when people swear things on their family that indicates that they are speaking the truth, though this isn't always true. Some people abuse this just to get away with their lies. I can only assume, I have no facts, but there's a good possibility that he is cheating on you or flirting with other girls.
You can only know something and move out of that when you have facts be attentive of yourself and those around you.
hey I'm not to sound mean but just break up with him it will hurt that it ended but i mean you don't want to put yourself through the worry of him cheating and stuff like that.that or ether get the girl who clams to have went on a date with him and have her show you his account and if you really want answers. that way if she's lying then you know its fake and stuff but if its true then you can screen shot it and show him.but hey in my opinion i would have him be blunt and give him one chance to be honest and if not break up with him because if he sent pictures and text messages and there more then you and you know all the facts then end it because if he's not going to be serious and you are then why waste your time?I'm just saying why put yourself through that pain when you can just use the time to get over it and find someone else
To those of you who have significant others, watch out. According to a "Peak Break-Up Times" chart created by David McCandless and Lee Byron, we are entering the year's second highest break-up time, second only to spring break. Their data shows what appears to be the first actual representation of the trend. Using information collected from Facebook, the duo charted the most frequent times of year that relationships end. There are two astonishing peaks, one in March and one during the Christmas holidays. There’s even a name for the phenomenon: the “turkey drop” which implies a break up in that period starting just before Thanksgiving.The weeks before Christmas are a bad time for relationships. To those single ladies and gents out there, the market is about to get a lot meatier. The chart was first posted on David McCandless' Information is Beautiful website, and has since been reposted on several other news sites. McCandless and Byron searched for the frequency of "break up" and "broken up" in Facebook statuses, and also set up a program that logged the dates of changes in relationship status onto a calendar. Does the study rely too heavily on Facebook? "I think it relates to real life, probably, really closely," said Byron. "Just based on anecdotal evidence, it seems to match up. Anyone who has looked at the chart tends to have a positive reaction. I've also had an expert in relationships look at the graph and tell me that it maps very close to realityMcCandless seconded that opinion. "I wouldn't call it a study," he said. "The intention was not to claim anything is true, it's just an interesting pattern that happens. There are all kinds of biases, Facebook was very much primarily used by young people, I'm just simply saying 'cool.'"The chart is one piece of a larger project on breakups. The series of information graphics on ending relationships includes topics like breakup methods and "We broke up because," as well as a flow chart on how relationships come together and fall apart.But Why Do Couples Break Up Right Before Christmas?When asked why two weeks before Christmas is a peak breakup time, Byron said, "I think it has something to do with end-of-the-year reflections or thoughts of everyone heading home for the holidays." Perhaps some people realize their significant other is not someone they would want to introduce to their families. "I can only reflect on my own experience -- would you want stay in a relationship that you felt was over through Christmas and New Year's? You don't want to be dogged by worries or pressure, you don't want to be worrying about the potential ups and downs in your relationship, you just want to clear the space," said McCandless. "This is the season," said Dr. Dorree Lynn, a psychologist and author of "Sex for Grownups," "to be needy and greedy as opposed to the message that we try to put out. It evokes incredibly high stress and depression, culminating statistically in New Years being the highest suicide date. The reason this happens is that we have the media myth that this is supposed to be a happy, wonderful and joyous time.""Couples or people who are dating are in a bind," Lynn said. "It's kind of a flight or another step to commitment time. The same thing holds true for Valentine's Day. These are symbolic times where you're making a statement, and if you're not sure, particularly if you haven't been dating for several years, a lot of people have issues about gift giving and how intimate the gift giving is and they get frightened because they don't want to put pressure on the other person, but on the other hand they don't want to feel like a fool giving something and not getting anything back.""I think the expectation of an expensive gift from a significant other can be the straw that breaks up the camel's relationship," said Brian Moylan of Gawker. "If you're already unhappy and thinking about pulling the trigger on a relationship, why not do it before you have to spend hundreds of dollars on a fancy watch or cufflinks or lingerie you don't even want to see your girlfriend wearing anyway? That way you get freedom and $100 you can blow at a strip club (or on some reasonably priced shoes)."Moylan added, "People are thinking about New Year's resolutions and how to improve their lives, and sometimes the best improvement you can make is setting free the good-for-nothing mate."On the other end of the spectrum, new relationships are on the boom before and during the holidays. Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair says, “We see our largest increase in clients during the holidays. People do not want to be alone on the holidays, and with New Year coming, they make resolutions to do whatever it takes to find their soul mate. Even if it means traveling halfway around the world."A Foreign Affair operates a web site that introduces men to women in Asia, Russia and Latin America. Each week they take groups of men to foreign countries where in just a few shorts days they can meet hundreds of beautiful foreign women looking for marriage. Kenneth Agee further states, “And if you are worried about a breakup, these relationships have half the divorce rate of domestic marriages.”
How to deal with getting dumped before the holidays? There's nothing like being dumped right before the holidays to break your spirit. As a Get Real about Love coach, I get calls about it from thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day. First of all you have to look at it as a blessing in disguise, even though your heart might be aching. Follow these steps and soon you can let go and move on! Call in a support team from the people who love you who will be there for you! Make plans to keep busy and take some space to heal your heart. Don’t focus on a reconciliation! ONCE IT’S OVER LET IT GO! Have a final talk then move on. When someone leaves… it is over! Don’t call to see if they are ok. GET YOUR STUFF FROM HIM/HER! Get all your stuff (CD’s you left, underwear, T-shirts you wore to bed) so you don’t have that hanging over your head. This is all a part of moving on. It helps both people let go!YOU CAN’T BE HIS/HER FRIEND RIGHT NOW! It’s best not to shift into being friend right after a break up. It’s too frustrating and can make you feel worse if you pretend you can handle it! You need some healing time. Leave him/her alone and don’t call! If he/she calls, keep it short and don’t tease them. If you are the one who broke it off, don’ promise anything unless you mean it! NO FRIENDLY SEX TO NUMB THE PAIN! Don’t sleep with her/him unless you want to reopen the wound and you’ll have to heal all over again. Having sex doesn’t guarantee getting the relationship back. Using Sex to console him/her only to dump them again next week is HURTFUL and very selfish! Try to Keep yourself busy attempt to get in the holiday spirit. Let your family know that you don't want to be discussing your “situation” and need positive encouragement right now!NURTURE YOURSELF & GET IN TOUCH WITH HEART. Go get a massage or go to a spa to get some pampering! Write your experience and feelings in a journal to get emotions out of you whirling mind before you sleep.COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS & GIVE TO OTHERS WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE Go feed the homeless, help deliver food at the Salvation Army and don’t stay home sulking GET PROFFESIONAL SUPPORT and some guidance from a love coach so that you can learn the lessons from the experience and grow from it. Get Real with your heart and realize this rejection is God’s protection and there is a reason it happened…even though it hurts right now! Healing takes time so be kind to yourself. VISION YOUR FUTURE & KEEP THE FAITH! Someday soon you meet someone new and think,