Hi Mintcat. I can relate to this. I spend the majority of my time in some type of physical pain. It's very draining and it can be hard to stay optimistic. The one thing that really keeps me focused on staying grateful are my kids. The fact that you are looking for advice for you mom tells me you're a fantastic kid and she did a great job raising you.What I like to hear while I'm in pain is: "Can I get you anything?" My normal (stubborn) response is no but the kids and my hubby know better. They keep me "fed and watered". I don't think there are any particular words to use to help console your mom but letting her know you're there if she needs you is wonderful. Maybe get a card letting her know how much you love her so she has something tangible to see when you're not there, or maybe even a little locket or bracelet (it doesn't need to cost a fortune) as a way to remind her you're thinking of her.But, the best thing my kids do is being generous with their affection: hugs and kisses mean the world to me. It keeps me grounded and I'll bet you're mom would appreciate that too.
I'm sorry that your mum is in pain Mintcat, and that you have to see that. It's not easy to see someone you love hurting all of the time, I know this from experience.It can be very difficult to know what to say sometimes, as even a well meaning, "how are you?" can feel patronising at certain times. I think the best you can do is help where you can, be supportive and try your best to be there when she needs you. A great guide that I found really helpful was Fibromyalgia For Dummies, even if this isn't what's wrong with your mum, it has a fantastic section on loved ones with chronic pain and how it affects others. After all, even though your mum is the primary suffering of this pain, it does affect you and others around you guys too. If you would ever like to talk, or if I can be of any help in any way, please feel free to drop me a message. Chronic pain is awful, and sometimes just having someone to vent to outside your support network makes you more capable of helping inside your situation. Best of luck hun, TDZ :)
Just be there for her, do what she wants. Try to walk with her. And at the end of the day, ask her honestly how are you and listen to her. Sometimes she might yell at you, but try to be patient with her.