My mom is forcing me into marriage at 18


i am seventeen years old and I gave my virginity to my boyfriend when I was 16. It wasn’t a dumb decision. I could have actually gave it to random guys. But I decided to wait until I was with someone I fully trusted and loved without any doubt in my mind. And that is my boyfriend. We used protection, went slow before hand. The whole 9 yards. And then earlier this year my mom found out about it. She confronted my boyfriend and I and TOLD us. Not ask, TOLD us that we are getting married when I am 18. He’s going to be in teh middle of college and won’t be able to pay for it. The only other way that I know he can afford it is if we eloped or went to a courthouse. Idk exactly how it works but that’s what I’m calling it. But Can my mom do that? Force me to marry him at 18? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am in love with my boyfriend. It’s not JUST love. I’m in love with him. He has changed me so much in just the relatively short time I’ve known and dated him. He got me to stop self-harming and I’m not 10 months clean. But can my mother do this? I want to marry him but not when I’m 18!!

Category: Tags: asked December 23, 2014

5 Answers

She can't. Talk to a lawyer and she'll back off.
Your mom can't force you to do anything. She might disown you or cut you off financially if you disobey her wishes. That's a possibility you may want to plan for. But can she make you get married? No.Also respect the heck out of your decision to wait even though you might like to marry him. It's good to be sure before you make a huge decision like that.
No, your mother cannot force you to marry anyone. That statement is made on the assumption that you live in a Western country. Your mother displays the sort of thinking that exists in the Third World, which is why I wonder where you might live. If there is somewhere else that you could go, you would be better off if you lived somewhere other than with your mother.
At 18 you're an adult. She can't "force you" to do anything legally. She can "threaten" to kick you out of her house if you're not paying rent, so at that point it would be a *choice that you'd have to make. Get your own place and get a job and be self-supporting at 18, or move in with the boyfriend and let him support you while you go to school or something. You don't actually have to marry him though. You can't be "Forced" - you have the power to choose.
Don't listen to her. A lot of divorce happens with drastic decisions like this.