My mom is dying from stage 4 Thymoma cancer

First off, my name is Lexie and I am 18 years old, and for most of my life I have lived with my mom at a young age I was taken by my dad due to sexual abuse starting as an infant but charged were never pressed. Throughout most of my life my mom was into drugs and has always been a severe alcoholic due to her own Demond’s. I have many unsolved Demond’s and in a rush I ended up making a fast but probably the best decision in my life to move in with the guy I love. I have been through a lot because of my parents, things that people wouldn’t be able to imagine, and now that my mom is passing away I feel like I’m going to have to live with the unresolved issues without a choice. I really need some advice because I have gotten severely depressed rapidly and can’t seem to go through the day without breaking down, even thoug I know my boyfriend is going through some extreme things now, he doesn’t always seem so sensitive about how I feel, and sometimes he has completely ignored the fact that I am upset without realizing it. I feel alone and really need some help. Suggestions please?

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Lexie

2 Answers

Hi Lexie! I was seriously moved by what you told. It must be really tough to keep on moving and seeking for help, but I'mma try my best to give you some advise.

First, I think it was very wise of you to get out of the toxic enviroment your mother offers. You should always try to do that in every aspect of your life: when trouble gets too overwhelming, avoid it. Don't force yourself into situations that tear you appart. I'm not implying you shouldn't comfront problems. It's just that people that have been through so much tend to be harsh of themselves when it comes to big, no-way-out issues, and trust me: big, no-way-out issues are not worth it.

Secondly, about your boyfriend: you are both on a very delicate situation. When someone is going through a very rough time, the people that love him/her may get troubled as well. Dealing with a person that needs help is hard too. I'm not justifying his lack of attention in any way! But it may come in handy to mention that he might as well be affected by your situation, it's not like he doesn't love you.

I cannot advise you on you mother. I don't even have enough resources to explain how loosing someone so close feels. What I can say, however, is don't blame her. She faced a no-way-out problem when the thing with your father happened. She fell apart and, sadly, found an alternative in drugs and alcohol. And now that she is passing away... Well, that is extremely unfortunate. Inadequate in every way. Just terrible. I'm sorry you're going thorugh it.

What I just said was probably not even helpful, but I wanted to write it either way. I figured it would be nice to know that you are not alone. I'll be available whenever you want to talk, or vent. Never give up~

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Agnes, My Dear.

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Whoa. Not an easy life... First of all, tell your mum you love her, if you do so. She had her demons, for sure. But she will be glad to have you there for her. You have to stay safe. Don't overthink. You might regret your actions in the future. Be there for your mother, try to remember the happy moments you had with her. Stay with friends and loved ones. They will help you.I lost my big brother to cancer as well. I know how hard and scary it is... But in the end we can't do much about the situation. Try to bond with your mother, if you feel like it.About your boyfriend: Both of you are going through rough stuff. That doesn't mean that you can't help eachother. Try talking with him. Hug him. You guys love each other, right? Love will find its way. You will see light, happiness and stars shining on the sky soon. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world.You are clearly depressed. Seek help from a professional. A psychiatrist can prescribe you anti-depressants that really help. And try to stay positive. Try to have some time for yourself. Binge-watch parks & recreation eating ice cream. Or chocolate. Or both!

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Artemis