Ever since I could remember, I had a very active mind. As a child I was more into playing pretend than real people, nothing to be worried about back then. Lately, I feel like my thoughts are eating me alive. I can’t shut them up, they scream at me, and point out every flaw, again and again. Its lead me to self harm, because my OWN thoughts are bulling me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve even been lead to question my sanity, like a few years ago, I could have sworn I saw a car standing my my window, but in the morning there was nothing there when we checked the cameras. Again yesterday, I was sitting at my desk and saw a white van perched outside my window, backing up, then moving forward again, repeatedly. I haven’t checked the cameras or even had the will to open my windows.
I have to say, I’m scaring myself. I can’t sleep because of demons, or murderers, or anything at all will keep me up. Am I losing it? I don’t know my family, but haven’t heard of any cases of paranoid schizophrenia, or other mental illness, but I can’t be sure….
(btw I don’t really like doctors, or trust anyone I know, so I’ve basically had to lie my face off to seem… sane)
thanks for reading, I could really use some opinions.
