My girlfriend is cutting herself what should I do?

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My girlfriend is in depression and I just realized she has been cutting herself. She said she broke up with me a couple of days ago, but I know she still likes me and I think she is just trying to push away her loved ones since she is in depression. I am going to talk to her about staying together. And should I tell her mom even though it would be like stabbing her in the back because she needs help and will not tell anyone?

Category: asked July 2, 2013

2 Answers

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Okay first,you take away ANYTHING (and I mean ANYTHING) that she can hurt herself with.Then you talk to her and try to get her to stop.Go to therapy.Get help soon,because she could kill herself.Tell her mom,even if it pains her.Her family SHOULD and NEEDS to know that she is cutting.
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Don't baby her. Unfortunately, in these situations, there isn't much we can do- the depression is coming from within your girlfriend, and no amount of love from you will change that- especially because you two have broken up. You say that "she said" she broke up with you- honey, that means you're broken up. She needs you to respect that. Even if it is a method of pushing her loved ones away, if she says you're broken up, you need to accept that and respect it. Don't talk to her about "staying" together, when you aren't together anymore. I'm sorry, this sounds really harsh, but it's doing a lot more harm than good to make her feel like she has no control over your relationship. Don't beg her to get back together with you. Don't focus on your relationship at all right now. If you truly care about this girl, you'll realize that her struggles are a thousand times more important than her status as your girlfriend (or as your ex-girlfriend).That being said, she does need help. Talk to her first. Show her websites about recovery, lists of alternatives to self-harm, different places where she can talk to people. Show her this website. If she has confided in you that she is hurting herself, that's a lot of trust and a very big step. Don't break that trust. If you immediately go and tell her mother, she will most likely deny everything, get very angry at you, and not accept help when it is offered. She might finally get a therapist, but spend the sessions silent, because she wasn't ready and she was pushed out of her comfort zone too quickly. That is not what you want.Be supportive, but respect her boundaries. Don't take away her blades. Don't check her arms every time you see her. Let her know that you are always there to talk, and help her find more people who can help her. And ONLY after all of this, when you have done all that you can as a friend and she is not getting any better, THEN you should tell an adult. Tell them that you are concerned about her safety and you think that it's important that they know that she is struggling. Recommend that they support her without judgment, that they respect her privacy (it's often a lot easier to talk to friends and even strangers than it is to talk to one's own family), but that they find her outside help. With the parents, you do not need to be gentle. In fact, push them. If it seems that they aren't doing anything, speak up again.She will probably be upset if you tell somebody about her depression and self-harm, but if you go about it gently and make sure that you've been a truly supportive friend first, she will not be upset for long. Ultimately, she'll realize that you only ever had her safety at heart, and someday, she'll thank you.