My boyfriend wants to have sex but I’m not ready

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My boyfriend keeps pushing having sex on me all the time. I tell him that I’m not ready to do that with him yet and he never understands because I’m not a virgin. He thinks because I have had sex before I should have no problem doing it with him if I really care about him. I feel like I am too young(I’m 15 he is 16) to be doing that again. Any help on what to do or should I just give in and have sex with him?

Category: Tags: asked January 2, 2014

13 Answers

9
Sit him down and tell him why you feel this way. If it's because you feel like your first time was a mistake then tell him that. No body should ever push you to do something you aren't comfortable with. If I were you and he keeps up with it then I would honestly get rid of him because he obviously doesn't have the decency to respect you as a person or your body and you deserve so much better. If you don't want to have sex, you don't have to have sex it's simply as that darlin'.
5
Hello Miss Paige, you did the right thing in reaching out.

Sexual peer pressure can be a very heavy burden, but your boyfriend is not exhibiting very much respect for your choices. if he has repeatedly asked you for sex even after you have turned it down, then he is trying to work down your defenses and "talk you into it". He probably is not concerned with your feelings of sex, he just wants it. So a very firm "No." is the answer to your question. You do not "just give in", it is your body and it is your decision when and if you share it with him. You are not obligated to do so just because you gave him the "boyfriend" label. He does not have a right to have sex with you, and you are not obligated to give him sex if you do not want to.

It would be in your best interest to take a trusted friend with you the next time you speak to your boyfriend and tell him assertively that you do not want to have sex and that he is to stop asking you for it after you have given him your answer. Do not be concerned if he breaks up with you for asserting your decision with him. You are a human being and have every right to feel secure in your own boundaries, and you have every right to tell someone to back off if they are taking advantage of being allowed inside your personal boundary.

I hope this has given you the perspective that you need to come to a solution. Please keep in contact and let us know how things progress, always remember that you matter, and you are not alone.
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Okay first thing: NEVER GIVE IN JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL PRESSURED. If you're not ready, then that's fine. I would definitely have a talk with him, tell him why you're not ready just yet, and he should hopefully be okay with it if he cares about you enough. If he threatens to break up with you or something if you don't have sex with him, then by all means you have the right to break up with him! Like people have said up above, it is your body and you are the boss of it.
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^^ Totally agree! It's your body, you get to choose what you want and any guy that loves you/likes you will respect your decision and wishes! Tell him exactly how you feel. If he doesn't get it he doesn't deserve you! Pleasing him is not worth living with regret!
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As a woman, you will always have choices to make. Your lady parts are your soul responsibility, no one else will take care of it.Remember NO means NO. Stand your ground, and demand respect. You are Woman."The only security you will have in life is the security that you provide for yourself." - Me
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It really does make me sad to hear that your boyfriend is so unwilling to be understanding with this. Now, I'm sure he is a wonderful person and a very good boyfriend otherwise, but I think it is a bit of a red flag that he is putting so much pressure on you. You do not owe it to anyone to do anything more than what you are comfortable with or are personally ready for, and you certainly don't owe him sex. Honestly, I wonder if you would be happier dating someone who is more accepting of your decisions.
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If you explain to him that you think losing your virginity so young was a mistake you want to learn from, and that you want to wait until you're ready to make it as special as it can be, then he should understand. If he doesn't then he may not be worth your time.
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Never let yourself be pressured into doing something you don't want to do, especially if you know you are not ready to do so. It doesn't matter if you have had sex before or not -- if you're not ready, you're not ready. If your boyfriend is incapable of understanding, perhaps he isn't the best match for you. You should never have to settle for anything less than you deserve, and you deserve someone who will respect you and wait for you.
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Tell him you're not ready. If he loves you, he'll understand.
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no. tell him it does not matter if you are a virgin or not, that is a social construct, it is meaningless. every time should be something you seriously think about, and feel is right. if there is any doubt, dont do it. if your boyfriend doesnt understand, than perhaps you should end this relationship and focus on yourself for a while.
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it doesnt seem like he is a respectful boyfriend.its not even about the sex, just even the fact that you say you are not comfortable with something and he disregards that. that is selfish of him and he needs to resect you more to deserve you.do not ever give in and have sex unless YOU want it and are ready. do not do it for him or for anyone else.try and talk to a friend or someone you trust about it so you dont have to go through it alone.good luck!
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It's your choice, not your partners. One problem, if you decline, he will cheat on you. Why? Since he can't keep his sexual desires away. He will have sex with another female. So, either he keeps his sexual urges away and acknowledges your feelings. Or, you don't be with him anymore. That's the truth. Period.
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Hi there. There are other ways to get satisfaction if your partner is not yet ready to have sex. Tell him about it. If he has feelings for you, then he will wait until you are ready for that. In the meantime, let him watch videos https://onlygirls.com/helen_powers with beautiful girls and play solo. That the option for such cases. But still, i highly recommend you to talk with him.