I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We’ve been living together for 1 year. Whenever he gets stressed, or upset, he shuts down. If I try to talk to him, he doesn’t respond. If I try to hug him, he doesn’t hug me back. He won’t even look at me. We’ve talked about this behavior and he says he needs space when he’s stressed out. That’s really hard for me, because my instinct is to try and help. So, I’ve been working on giving him his space when he’s stressed, but it makes me anxious to live with someone who ignores me. All week he’s been stressed, and distant. Finally this morning I just asked what’s going on, but he was being cryptic and evasive, like: “Do you know what’s wrong? If you don’t know what’s wrong, then there’s nothing to worry about.” ….What? Of course I don’t know what’s wrong, he won’t tell me! I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I treated him the way he treats me, he would keep pushing me to tell him what’s wrong, but if I ask him he won’t tell me ANYTHING.
What is this? What do I do? Should I just get used to being “alone” when he’s upset?