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my 19 y/o son…..

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So I got some really good advice here today about talking to my 19 y/o son who’s starting a new relationship and hasn’t brought the new girl around. He’s also gone all the time and missed Sunday family dinner yesterday. We’re a big, very close Italian family, and that’s a HUGE deal. The person (for the life of me I can’t remember who. I’m so sorry it’s my first day) gave me great advice about talking to my son. I was ready to do so until I realized we are both VERY emotional people. I cry very easily and I know I won’t be able to tell him what I want without breaking out in tears. I just want to tell him how much I love him and that he’s an amazing young man whom I trust completely. I know he’s a good kid and I love him very much (I do tell him all the time that I love him) and I only want what’s best for him. That I’ll support him no matter what. There’s a lot that I want to tell him but here’s my question……..since I break down in tears so easily, do you think I could maybe write him a letter?? I just want to tell him everything I have in my heart. I tear up right now writing this because I love him so much and I’m so proud of him. I just think that for me a letter would be more effective. What do you think would be most effective???

Category: asked October 21, 2013
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Avatar of mamacat
mamacat
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9 Answers

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Aww, you seem like a super sweet mom. I think you should write him a note while telling him at the same time so if you do start to cry, he can read the note and understand what you're trying to tell him. I hope all goes well!
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ForeignGoddess
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If you can't talk to him in person, try writing the letter, you are a great mother, never forget that. (hugs) :)
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Avatar of Oli
Oli
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I think it's a great idea. Writing a letter would also let you think about your words and help pass on your message more clearly.
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Avatar of Lisa
Lisa
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I get where you are coming from with the emotions, but I feel if you write him a letter that he might take it the wrong way. With a letter, no matter how many different ways you write it down, he won't be able to see how you truly feel; almost as if that spark of emotions isn't completely there. He will see what you mean but I don't think it will be as touching as say a heart-to-heart conversation with him. That is just my opinion, but I wish you the best of luck!
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Megan
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A letter is a wonderful idea.There are other options too if a letter by chance does not work out. For instance, if you cannot find the words. You can draw a picture. You could even just make a list of reasons he makes you proud to be his mother.My mother and I didn't have a very good relationship for a while and I wanted to try to talk to her for a long time but I would get very emotional and cry whereas she would get angry. I decided to write her a poem. She read it and asked me to write it out again and draw on it so she could frame it for everyone to see. (:I understand talking can be difficult but it is definitely not the only way. Letters, poems, drawings are all great ways of expressing how you feel.Hope this helps you and I'm sure your son will love it.
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ElliottNik
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Even if you decide to talk to him in person, you might consider writing the letter just to collect your thoughts. Good luck!
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Avatar of C
C
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You should do whatever seems easiest to you. It is AMAZING that you love him as much as you obviously do. You should, without question, get that message to him in whatever form is most feasible. If my mom were to do this, it would mean so much. Prove to him that you love him this much- after a while, the words "I Love You" become diluted.
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CrazyForHistory
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You all are amazing. I only wish this site had been available earlier in my life. Thank you all for your advice and support!!! See???? I'm already crying!!!! lol
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mamacat
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No Probs Mamacat :) (hugs)
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Oli
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