miserable in my internship and it’s making me question my career field

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I am a graduate student in engineering/computer science. This summer I am working at a big, well-known company. Everyone I talk to tells me what a great opportunity it is and how lucky I am to be working at this company. The pay and benefits are very good for an internship. But I hate the work I am doing, and when I look around at the full-time engineers, their work looks terribly boring. I am not a good fit at this company because I am not very aggressive or competitive. Everyone here has the attitude that the only things worth doing or even talking about are things that will make money for the company. Before coming here, I have been a very good student and felt like I knew a lot and was good at it. But here my manager and the other engineers talk down to me and make me feel like I don’t know the first thing about computers. The only people I like talking to are the administrative assistants.

Fortunately there is only one month left in my internship, but I am really scared that I will never fit in anywhere in this field. Also, my graduate research has been unsuccessful so far and I don’t know if it’s worth suffering through several more years of this if I don’t like the work I will be doing. I was never good at anything except classes, and in school I was never exceptional in any particular subject more than others. Should I quit grad school? How do I find my “passion” if I even have one? What if I am doomed to be miserable in any kind of work I ever do?

Category: Tags: asked August 6, 2014

3 Answers

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You're in grad school. That alone shows you're good at what you do. Any big company in any field with interns in it will have the seniors looking down on them. The new people are the biggest threats to their positions. Yes, the seniors have experience, but you interns have the newest knowledge, which in a few years with experience can put you ahead of the seniors, and often does. I have friends in grad school in Business, Archeology and English, where they all go through the same thing. The difference career wise, is that when you find your passion, you will WANT to prove them wrong on the fact you don't know what your doing etc. It will be easier for you to talk to them and open up to them. The company you're at now isn't the only company out there. You will find your niche, and you'll wonder why you ever thought about quitting. I think you're just in a rut right now. You're demotivated and that's normal. You chose YOUR field for a reason. I would talk to your grad advisor and see what they think. It's their job to support you through times like these. I hope things work out for you. All the best etc.
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Just because you're good at what you do doesn't mean you should be doing it! I got 3 years into college before I accepted that I hated my career choice and dropped out. Let me tell you, I am grateful to myself every day for going with my gut, despite pressure from my parents, friends, and peers to just keep going because I was good at it. I haven't found my passion yet, but having the freedom to do anything BUT what I was studying is the most liberating thing in the world and I wouldn't trade that for any amount of money. Only YOU hold the answer to your questions, and you have to absolutely listen to your heart even if it seems to be leading you in a weird direction... It's better than lying to yourself and being stuck in a job you hate for the rest of your life. All the best of luck!!
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Fellow graduate whose decided that she doesn't really like academia, but loves research.Look into other career options that can make use of the skills you have. There are plenty of fields that need engineering skills that you might enjoy. I was freaking out a few months back when I realised I really didn't want to chase the elusive tenure dream but didn't know what else to do. I did a bunch of research and realised that there are plenty of options for me as long as I learn how to market my skills effectively. Look up the versitilephd. They have a career section where you can look up various career options for your field, what that career entails and steps you can take to get there.