Major trust issues

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I can never seem to open up to my friends. I want to but when the moment come i just didnt. My bestfriend know that i have trust issues and that i like to bottled up my feelings, she keep on saying “just tell me when you’re ready”. I feel so bad that we have been through a lot and she told me everything so that i could feel comfortable with her and yet i just cant F*cking do it. I tried i really do but i just cant

Category: Tags: asked August 24, 2013

5 Answers

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Okay, someone's going to come along and give much better advice, but you're stuck with me for now. :p Anyway, I have a hard time trusting people, too. I bottle up my feelings, and whenever I do talk to people, I select my words very carefully. Just wanted to give you some background information. As for solutions, here's what I've found works. I find it hard to talk to people because I'm afraid of a negative reaction, you could call it rejection. Maybe if there's something bothering you, you could write it down and pass a note along to your friend. You don't have to worry about seeing their immediate reaction. For example, you flunked a major test. You scrawl down, "Scared and angry that I flunked the test," and hand the slip of paper to your friend as you pass them in the hallway. Or, you could text them/email them. You could also, maybe, start opening up to your parents, maybe, and then it'll be easier to open to your friend about things, too. Sorry if these don't help. I hope you are able to open up to your friends soon. :) -Amanda
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Look baby, she's there for you. You should never force yourself to do anything, you'll talk when you feel like talking. And she gets that, she said it herself. You could give it a try, start with little things, things that aren't as issue anymore, things that happened long ago, then you can get used to the idea of someone who's willing to listen to you, and someone who wants you to trust them. And if even that is too hard, you can always talk to a therapyst, a priest, or anonymous people, who you know that won't judge you, and you won't have to talk them again. If you ever need me, just message me, and I'll be there. xx <3
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I have that problem too. I cant open up to my friends because I have trust issues. The idea is though to find out why you have trust issues. Like a specific target that has caused most of them. Once you know that you can see if it the target and your friends share things in common that would make you trust them less or would deem your friend untrustable. From what I know my previous friends betrayed me and just lfeft me thats why I am not very open at all to my group of friends currently, I sort of already know I will never be.
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I'm in the same position right now, that's actually why I joined today. I tend to bottle all my emotions up until I'm ready to explode and it can be pretty destructive at times. I grew up in a family who went through a lot, we never talked about or expressed our feelings to each other, we were basically taught that when thing's go bad to just "suck it up" because life isn't always fair. Over the year's I've developed major trust issues also, Now I'm 21 and i realize i really need to work on that. It's really hard for me to emotionally connect with people now and it's ruined past friendships, and relationships. I don't even know if it's about trust anymore, i feel like I'm programmed this way now. I have a best friend who i do trust and love to death, together we've been through thick and thin over the years and no one knows more about me since I moved to a different state in high school then her but I'm an extremely private person and there's still some things she doesn't know. I'm currently going through sooo much right now and i wish i could just tell her everything on my mind but it's so hard to get out, it's like my thoughts get mixed up in my head and stuck in my throat. I know she'd never judge me but there's still that fear in the back of my mind of judgment, rejection, and even pity. I hate the feeling of someone feeling sorry for me and I'm terrified to cry in front of people, it usually leads to a panic attack because I bottle so much up. anyway, i know back when i was younger i was forced to see a therapist but i felt it was so much easier to talk to a stranger then anyone else. Today i was feeling overwhelmed about everything happening in my life and felt like I needed to vent so i came across this site and joined, if you ever want to talk message me, I mean that's why I'm here too. It felt really good to let some of my thought's out that one time and that was year's back lol my mind is constantly overflowing. If you want we can try helping each other open up to our friend's together a little at a time. I hope to make some friendships and connections with different people on here to help myself and other's as best i can. So this goes for anyone else too, if anyone wants to get to know each other so we do have someone to vent to when thing's get crappy. I love meeting new people and interacting with different personalities (:
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I completely understand this. Trust me, I do. I hate that feeling. It's like some people are actually there, caring for you, loving you, trying to make you feel alright but you just can't talk to them. Sometimes I felt like I was a terrible person for that you know? Here people are, begging me to talk to them, and I just won't do it. Some people don't even have that, but I do; and yet here I am. Not taking advantage of it. God, sometimes, it pisses me off so much! I used to think, "god, why am I so selfish?" I dwell on it all the time. Then I figured out just recently, it's not that I don't want to, it's not that I don't trust them, I just didn't find someone who has affected me and my life enough for me to share it. I hadn't found someone who could put words into the perfect sentence for me to understand and be like, "Well shit!" you know? You just haven't met the right person. I'm not going to say that you can talk to me, 'cause lets face it; you probably can't. You probably won't be able to talk to me 'cause I'm a total stranger. You might not even be able to talk to anyone else in this forum; but you know what? Try. What you should do is tell someone something that's bothering you. Something not too big, but not something that the person would be like, "why are you even bothering me with this crap?" somewhere right in the middle. If that person doesn't really say something that hit you or affects you in anyway, then well... that's not the one. It may take time, but it really helped me, to be honest. Sometimes it's not even in person, but like on some website or something (but make sure you have proof that they're not some creeper, like video chat them when you come to the point of comfort, and if they turn you down 3 times in a row, they're most likely not who they say they are) I've found someone, and have been talking to them for about 3 years now. Trust me it helps.