long distance?


I have this, well he asked me out so he’s my boyfriend, and we are trying to make long distance work. Could you guys give me your reasons and ideas as to why long distance relationships are good or bad and work or don’t? I”m trying to figure out if this will work or not.

Category: asked November 16, 2013

5 Answers

Well, it really depends on the person, so the answer will be quite vague. If you feel that this person, or even yourself can manage it, then you should try. The lack of physical interaction or hanging out tends to limit what you can do to a very select few things. if all you used to do is talk, then you should be fine, whereas if you barely ever talked and you just did things together, then a relationship where all you can do is talk might not work at all. If you havent met in real life and he has asked you to be his Girlfrien, then i think you will do just fine. There isnt much else you could do together, maybe play some games over the internet? Steam is useful for that. Perhaps you can make things for each other, try and keep the interactions going, this works if you have met or havent. If you think that you or he wont be able to cope under the strain, or you feel you will lose interest in him during this time, talk to him about it, im sure he will understand, because if he doesnt, then i dont think someone who doesnt understand you will be suitable to be your boyfriend :\ Cheers
It depends on the both of y'all and how well you know each other, how well you trust each other and how long you want to do this long distance relationship thing. Trust is a big big issue when comes to long distance relationships especially if one of them is possessive or insecure. Also, you don't know how much of what the other person is saying is the truth or not. Plus physical interactions include being able to sense the other person's emotions without them actually saying anything. So subconsciously if you are physically present next to a person you will naturally have a better understanding and thus a better relationship with the person. I suggest you be very careful and talk to some people you know who have a fair idea about this.However, don't settle for anybody who is less than what you deserve. You will find a better person if this one isn't right for you so don't be afraid to call it off. Think over it and be smart about it.Good luck! <3
I had a long distance relationship for a long time, and here is what I learned from the experience.
1: Unless you're the most trusting person in the world, it's very difficult to develop trust across long distances. No matter what the other person "says" they're doing, they could always be lying. All the couples I've ever known to successfully manage long distance, were together before they had to move apart and had already developed trust in each other.
2: Long distance basically puts the entire relationship in your head. This can become a mindfuck after a while. Because you spend so much time together, but at the same time it's like it never actually happened, because all you really did was sit in front of your computer. Giving the excuse "I have a boyfriend" feels awkward after awhile, because yeah you have a boyfriend but in effect you really don't. There might be emotional intimacy, but otherwise you're really alone still.
3: There is a lot you learn about someone by them physically being present. Like mannerisms, expressions, sarcasm, (except for Skype) It can be difficult to pick up on all of that over long distances. Then when you finally spend time together, you feel close emotionally but it's still like being with a stranger. It feels really weird.
4: Unless there's plans to make a move to be closer to one another, the relationship can't really reach the next level across long distance. Sometimes when you do get together physically, the relationship might not be as good as it seems over the computer, but you wind up forcing yourself to make it work. You might wind up staying in a dysfunctional relationship because you don't want to feel that all the "Long-distance" time was a waste.
5: Finally, since you're invested in a long-distance relationship, you could miss out on a lot of other good opportunities to meet great people right where you're at because you're trying to make something work with someone who's far away.
This is what I learned, of course there are always exceptions. If you have trust in the person your with and vice versa, and can come to a compromise on visits and spending time together in person I believe it is possible to make it work. But it's also important to consider the drawbacks. Hopefully this will work out for you. If you need any advice, feel free to message me! Good luck!
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It works if you really care about each other. Sounds simple but that's what I got from my experience. I didn't meet the person I married in person for three years and we're still together coming to a total of ten years. Either way, there is no harm in trying. Just really make sure you communicate your insecurities about it with him so you feel better about it. If you come to decide it's not really for you then no harm done.
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