LDR not working out?

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*Post contains some sexual material
Ok I am going to try my best to make this all make sense… My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 7 months now. We live 7 hours away by car but I live in Canada and he lives in the U.S. We’ve skyped (camera and mic) so I know for sure he’s real.

Recently we’ve both have gotten jobs so we are both a lot busier than we were before. Unfortunately he works in the morning and I usually get evening shifts. Still, trying to make this relationship work I text him whenever I get up (even though I know he’s probably at work,) and give him little updates about my day. He does not put this much effort into texting me. In fact, ever since he’s gotten his job I feel like he puts little to no effort into our relationship in general. Whenever I try to bring this subject up he usually says sorry and then avoids texting me for hours. It’s gotten to a point where I feel like I put all the effort into the relationship and he doesnt even care anymore.

The next part I am a little embarrassed to share but I believe it is necessary to the story. The reason I started feeling like I needed to talk to someone else about this, to get a second opinion was because of an incident today. After I got off work he was texting me a lot more than he usually would. I of course was excited about this- I kept telling myself that I was just over thinking things whenever I was annoyed he wouldn’t text me. So of course, I wanted to talk about my day but he kept hinting that he wanted to sext. I wasn’t really feeling it but since I havent sexted with him for a while I decided I would(To please him because I *always* seem to be needing to please him). After that was done he said he loved me and then stopped texting me for the night… I felt so alone, like he just left me, and used me to blow his load. He’s never tried to text me with the only intention to sext before. I have no idea what to do. I have been thinking about breaking up but people always tell me to work on relationships before ending them. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions as to how to approach this? Thanks

Category: Tags: asked August 18, 2013

4 Answers

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You need to talk to him about this. And not let him get away with sorry, address the issue. Because from what I can see is that his apologies arnt really true. I understand where you are coming from about the feeling used thing and honestly if your intuition says something or you start feeling like that , the relationship is not going to work out. He has taken you for granted. I suggest trying to firmly talk to him about whether he is going to change his ways or not. If you are unhappy with this relationship please end it. You will find a far better guy, maybe near you even!Best of luck.
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Hey there! I've actually been in something very similar to this, and from my experience, talking about things just ended up being a waste of time. But, obviously, not every situation is the same! My advice to you is to express your concerns to him, but try to do it over Skype or at least in a phone call. Texting gives too much leeway for ignoring, and that's not going to help you at all. Get him on the line and go from there, and if he is unresponsive, well...it may be time to reconsider your roles in the relationship. It's better to have tried to work it out and have it fail that way than to stick around and be miserable and constantly wondering about things. Give it your best shot and good luck!
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I think handling a relationship through text is a very bad idea, the level of sincerity that can come across is very minimal. His apologies definitely don't seem sincere enough to warrant you beating yourself up over him. If he's suddenly texting with only the interest in sexual stuff, then it may mean he has grown bored of idle texting and only wants to use you to satisfy his needs.
Talk to him in voice or video chat on skype, tell him how he's making you feel. If he's not willing to give a sincere apology or explain his suspicious actions, then I'd honestly say he's not worth your time. He sounds like a person with a lot of excuses and attention delaying remarks which will most likely only make you feel mistreated at the end of the day.
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Break up with him. He isn't worth this much heartache.