I’m having jealousy issues over this girl who used to hook up with my boyfriend before we got together. They’re still friends and I know she still likes him but he says they’re just friends and that he loves me. I trust him and love him, but still feel jealous over her. I wish he would stop talking to her but I still respect their friendship. I don’t know how to feel better about this whole situation.
Feeling jealous is a normal response, and from the sound of it, you haven't let it get to you or affect your trust very much. I guess there isn't really much to do about it, but I'd suggest being honest him that while you respect their friendship, you sometimes feel a bit insecure or jealous, and might just need some reassurance sometimes, if you think reassurance is something that would help.
Jealousy is very common and it's okay to feel it. It's where you're feeling a bit threatened by someone outside of your relationship. But the most important thing is resolving it. I'm not going to sugarcoat it; but if your jealousy gets out of hand, it could potentially ruin your relationship with your boyfriend. Jealousy is a very naturally human response, but you should try to tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel. Talk it out, see what he thinks. Tell him not to just dismiss it and fully discuss your feelings. Next, have some faith in him. Believe him when he says that he loves you and only you. Trust him when he says that him and this girl are only friends. You could also write out your feelings if you find it too hard to find the right words to tell your boyfriend. Writing out your feelings can help you identify exactly what's bugging you or making you jealous. Focus on your strengths, identify yourself and build yourself up. Look in a mirror and tell yourself, I'm cute. I'm great. I have nothing to worry about. Feeling better about yourself could also help you squash this feeling of jealousy inside you. I wish you all the best with your relationship and resolving your feelings!
You are entitled to feel exactly the way you do, there's no one who can tell you what you should or should not feel. Talk to your boyfriend, communication is the most important thing to have a good relationship. As you said, you trust him, so keep on doing that. And trust yourself.
Another thing to keep in mind, the past is called past for a reason. He picked you, you're the one he wants to be with. If anything, she's probably jealous of you.
Perhaps, you could try and be her friend, if you're up for it, get to know her better, and she'll become your mutual friend and not just his, maybe it'll help once you see for yourself what kind of person she is, and you can keep an eye on them at the same time.
Get Matched With a Therapist If you would like real online counseling from trained, Licensed, and Certified Professionals, visit our Therapists section to take a questionnaire and be matched with a counselor that's right for you.