It’s getting worse… Any advice please?


Please, all I’m asking for is a quick read.. This may be long, but I desperately need your help/advice.. So here we go:
Not long ago I complained on this website about my situation: a closeted 22 years old gay with zero love experience (not even first kiss), self esteem issues (till the point where I couldn’t get out of home because of how ugly I felt), and high expectations from the family (that I obviously can’t cope with).
Now i’ve received various responses regarding my complaints, and I honestly felt better.
This past week I tried to ignore the bad thoughts, it was hard to do but I was getting better at it… Until… I started hearing these voices and having extremely bad nightmares.
I would hear people talking in my left ear, like just some random voices telling me weird stuff like “she’s dead” or “she’s hurt”, “he’s in pain” , “he’s burning”. Like I’d seriously turn around and ask my friends if there was someone who had just passed next to me… Of course, they were thinking I was making it all up so I didn’t insist.
Now let’s talk about the nightmares. I would dream people chasing me down, not wanting to kill me but wanting something from me. I just see myself running, and hiding constantly. I get physically exhausted in real life, as I wake up soaked in sweat and with a leg pain as if I’ve had an intense jogging sessions.
The worst part is the combination of the two: I occasionally have these “visions” that depict the death of someone I love. Like last week I’ve seen my mother fall off the balcony and scream my name sooo hard that I rushed through the balcony calling out for help while she was just on the sofa relaxing… Same happened with my dad, except I saw him accidentally pour boiling oil on himself (i’ve also rushed in pure agitation to the kitchen, nearly crying…)
Of course their response to this behaviour of mine was to get extremely worried, and they’re thinking of visiting a neurologist (yes, they genuinely think it’s a neurons problem or stuff that just have to do with hallucinations.)
Now, I’m sure i’m not 100% crazy since I can still discernate dreams from reality, but what the hell is going on with me?
If you’ve read it all, I deeply thank you… And I really wish you could help me, at least just giving me a simple advice.
Again, thank you if you’re spending your time to help me out.

Category: Tags: asked July 30, 2015

3 Answers

Often our dreams are a reflection of how we're feeling in our everyday life since dreaming is actually our brain's way of sorting through problems while we're asleep. The same thing happening over and over in a dream as you mentioned is indication that your brain is trying to sort through the issues that you're having while you're awake, but because it's not being resolved, the dream becomes recurring. Your body is still moving around (and freaking out slightly) during a nightmare, which explains why you're waking up with physical side affects.

There are things you can do to prevent having nightmares, like not eating before bed and meditating, but it seems like to stop them, you're going to have to deal with the issues occurring in your life. You mentioned you often dream of running and hiding- this may be symbolizing the fact that the voices you're hearing and the visions you're having are scaring you, and that you'd like to run and hide from them.

Ultimately, I think the best course of action for you in my opinion is to seek some medical attention/professional help and see if they can give you coping strategies on dealing with the way that you're feeling, and the symptoms that you're experiencing. Even talking with a professional may ease these bad thoughts that are intrusive and upsetting. I've also found that any time I'm feeling particularly stressed out, music, yoga, and meditation have all been super beneficial. Best of luck and I hope you start feeling better really soon!
Hello! I'm not a psychiatrist, and maybe I'm talking nonsense, but... have you tried read about Spiritism? I'm not from this doctrine, but my sister had almost the same problems as you. She was straight till 2 years ago, and since she discovered that she liked girls too, my family started to put a lot of pressure on her. She haven't had any strong beliefs on herself, and was quitting university. When the voices started to appear, and the nightmares that made her cry at night everyday. Then a friend of hers told her to go to this spiritual center. My sister told me that this voices aren't hers, she started taking meds but it didn't help. Maybe you have the same spiritual problem. You have to get rid of your depression, because the voices wouldn't stop. Trust me, you're not crazy, try not to don't panic. If you have any prejudice, please, just stop for awhile and try this thing. Go to a spiritual center and try psychological help. The voices will attack you where it hurts. Be strong. If you ever need any help, my uncle work with this thing (he's a professor and he's medium), and I can call him if you need. And... I apologize for any mistake, English is not my native language. My sister doesn't hear voices anymore, she's so, so much better! I'm not an expert, but if ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Kisseees!
Obviously I'm no expert, but speaking from experience this sounds like BPD. I had a boyfriend a while ago who had it and he told me that he experiences similar things. BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder and sounds like it should be like bipolar but really it means someone who's brain is on a spectrum between reality and hallucination.I would suggest researching it and seeing if the symptoms match how you're feeling and if so then it may give you comfort to speak to people with a similar condition.However I would take this advice with caution as, like I said, I'm not a psychiatrist.