Is this my destiny? or our? Help

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So Me and this girl are going out, we had ups and downs in the past like we called it off and on, but now it seemed ligit, but she never has time to talk, like have a proper conversation, and this has been happening for sometime, she goes uni, then tution, then sleep, everyday, and she does not have time to speak properly, eather she sends one message, and then sends another one next day, like there is no proper converation, in the whole 24 hours she does not have time to speak properly, (she does not have a phone so she has to be infront of a lapop to talk) so i do understand. But at the same time, i feel like what are our convos? their dead, there is no proper one, She also feels we are or we might drift away at the back of her head, like that negative thought, i am unsure if it is time for us to be together ? or not ?

asked September 24, 2014

1 Answer

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Something that people in my family have a hard time dealing with is that I don't feel the need to have a conversation or talk to someone to feel close to them. Even right now, I'm on my computer and my husband is on his and for us it's enough. That's part of your issue though. We're ok not having deep conversations or even long ones every day. It sounds like you need verbal communication, and she might be ok without this could be a problem that the two of you will always have and might mean that you're not as compatible as you think you are.

It also sounds like she has a lot on her plate! She genuinely might not have time for you right now. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but there's no nice way to say this. Her schoolwork is more important that you alone are right now because it effects your future as a couple. If she succeeds at school, she will be able to get a good job and help provide for your family unit as a partner.

My recommendation? If she's working on homework, have video chat on, and while she works you read, or play video games, or do your own studying. That way you'll be together, and she'll get her work done. If that isn't fulfilling enough for you though it would be better for the two of you to take a break. Maybe when she's done you guys can revisit the relationship and see what happens, but again, her schoolwork is the most important thing right now.