Is there such thing as platonic hetero friends? | BlahTherapy - Online Therapy and Counseling Services.

Is there such thing as platonic hetero friends?


I’m going on a hiking trip this weekend with a guy I have known since grade school. We dated for like three months in grade nine (but it’s grade nine, I don’t think he had even hit puberty yet lol) and since I’ve broken up with my boyfriend we’ve been hanging out…
I know how he feels about me (he likes me) but I have made it clear I don’t want to date anyone.

Is It possible to stay friends? Or will he always be waiting for me to give him “the go-ahead” to become more than that?

Category: Tags: asked October 3, 2014

5 Answers

It exists, but how do you ever know, right? I have one friend that I know for sure is completely platonic. He wanting more is probably not worth losing a friend over, just keep reminding him sometimes that there will be nothing more, so he doesn't get his hopes up. Guess this is so situational that my ramblins here is not worth much, but have fun on your trip.
Only one person knows the truth, him. Maybe you can ask him before spending the weekend alone with him, just to be sure. It can be awkward but not as unpleasant as it could be if you find out your worries are right, while in a forest or something.
There is such a thing a platonic hetero friends, although not too common. The bad news is that from his side, things are not platonic and he wants more. Breaking up with your boyfriend and hanging out with him surely raised his hopes a bit (maybe unconsciously). You said you made it clear that you don't want to date anyone, but then he could be thinking "well she's going to date someone at some point, so let's stick around". You're going to have to keep reminding him that you only see him as a friend and hopefully one day he'll move on and be satisfied with what you guys already have.But the good news is even though it's not purely platonic, it doesnt mean you guys can't enjoy a good hiking trip! Good luck!
Whether he'll always be waiting is more a question of what he's like than anything else. The important thing is whether he's willing to think of your friendship it's own thing and not simply a step to something else, or being 'stuck in the friendzone'.
Speaking for me? I only have a couple female friends that I wouldn't happily jump in bed with in the right situation BUT I don't drift around pining over it, or expect it to happen. I like them a lot, and I think they're attractive, but that's all. With a former partner it can be tricky not to fall into old patterns at first, but it just takes getting used to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't necessarily need to be 100% platonic, he just needs to not be an asshole and respect your boundaries.
Thank you all so much! you have been super supportive and insightful and it's really helping me!