I have never been able to function in society in a healthy way. I find it extremely stressful to talk to people I don’t know and also to be in groups of people. I have always had a lot of empathy with others and cannot relax without knowing those around me are okay. As I got older this care has turned into something that causes me discomfort and anger. I am still aware of how those people feel but the lack of care i get back makes me very angry, and sometimes makes me very volatile. I struggle with talking to people but am able to seem to others as though I am okay with it, I can even come across as confident sometimes. But then from nowhere I erupt and breakdown, this has lost me jobs and friends and other things. I have large shifts in mood over the smallest things and am becoming more anti social as time goes on. Sometimes I can feel awesome for a while then I wake up and I put everything into the trash, physically and otherwise. Dealing with this in the aftermath has become too much to deal with as i get older, and the lack of anything tangible to call my own along with the way I destroy my life intermittently is becoming too much to deal with. I am sorry to pester but i am at a loose end and nobody is listening to how I feel, seemingly to me because they always feel as though what they are going through is worse. I am so lost and feel unable to move forward with anything or see any value in myself anymore. Any thoughts from outside my head would be most welcome.