Is there a good solution?

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My parents are just making my life harder. I try to tell them I want to change something and they just shoot me down. They constantly make me feel like sh*t. I can’t talk to them because it always ends up with them yelling and me crying. I don’t know what to do. I want to change my life but it seems impossible. Everything I try fails. I want to be happy but I just can’t… I am tired of feeling this way

asked September 2, 2015

3 Answers

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It's not uncommon for people to believe that because a person is blood-related to you, that you need to love them, care for them and stick by their sides no matter what. That a kid is always supposed to love their parents. But the point of being a parent is so that you love and support your child, and do your best to give them a happy life. It's NOT supposed to be saying cruel or unkind things or ignoring you or your opinions. Parents are supposed to be able to communicate properly with their children.

They are raising YOU, a fellow human being, a child, not training some monkey or cultivating a plant for stock. You are not a piece of clay for them to mold and manipulate to their liking. That's not how parenting works. It's your life; you're the only one who gets to make the final decisions in it. You deserve to have autonomy, or full control, of your life, because it's YOURS, not theirs. Mature or fully capable or not, it's YOUR life. It doesn't matter that they're "trying to do what's best for you". Part of the point of growing up is so that you can become independent and make your own decisions, not have your parents hovering over your shoulder when you're forty and telling you everything that you can and can't do.

Talk to them about it, and if that doesn't work, talk to the counselors. If that doesn't work, then hold out as long as you can and then leave and never come back. If you have been bullied, hit, teased, put down, hurt, lied to, or hated by your own family; you don’t need to justify how you feel. You don’t need to explain yourself. You are allowed to hate a family member or dislike a family member if they’ve given you a reason to. You are not required to love or care about someone just because they're "family".

The best families are ones we make ourselves. And sometimes that includes blood-related family members, but it doesn't have to. There are so many people in this world who would love and support you like a REAL family should. They're out there. You just have to look for them.
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Hey don't give up. I understand what it's like to have a stubborn family but you need happiness and help just like any of us in the world. The more you keep asking them, the more it will break them down until they'll eventually hear you out. Remember you're not alone.
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If they always make you down with the things that make you happy or always force you with their expectations. Just prove to them that it is the right thing to do, to follow the fulfillment you've been wanting since then. Just always remember that if it is good for you, do it, no matter how risky it is, if it will satisfy you in the long run of your life then pursue it. We are people who are living with expectations, but it depends to us if we'll follow it, we're the one who knows ourselves after all and not them, it's just their perspective to you..


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