Is my best friend bisexual?

2

I’ve already asked some people this in chat, so you may or may not have seen this story. Either way, I’m going to ask this here because I really want to know. So for the past three months I’ve become really close friends with this guy (we were friends before, but we weren’t close friends and we didn’t know each other that well) and now that we’re close it’s great. We’re best friends now and it’s great fun and we get along and everything. Slight problem: I’ve started developing feelings for him. Even bigger problem: I’m gay (he knows), he’s supposedly straight and a few months ago I agreed to be his wingman since he likes my friend. I’ve already asked a few people if I should tell him that I like him and they’ve all said yes so I guess I’ll go with that. Now I know I shouldn’t try to be a mind reader or anything, but I’m really curious. My friends think he could be bi and I’m really not sure. If it gives any proof, we’ve done suggestively homosexual things together. For example: sit on each other’s laps, fake kiss in front of other people (this happened twice), spooned in bed (although, there were also three other people in the bed), always “jokingly” flirt with each other. This one time we were at a friend’s house watching a movie and we sat on the couch together and he randomly came closer to me and rested his head on my shoulder. One time he sat on my lap, we were at a friend’s gathering and he’d gotten there late and we were sitting around a table and there were no chairs left so my friend asked if he wanted a chair and he said “Yeah, sure” and while she was getting it he asked me “Hey man, can I sit on your lap?” which I found a bit peculiar considering she was just about to get a chair. the thing that gets me the most, though, is what happened when we were watching a movie. Also this is the thing that gets me the most: we were at my friend’s house for Halloween and we watched Saw II and I was sitting on one end of the L-shaped couch and he sat on another and randomly out of nowhere, he sat closer to me and he rested his head on my shoulder. Not sure if i’m again reading into this a bit too deeply, but yeah. And what about the fake kisses? (It was twice and only because other people asked for it). The first time was because my friend wanted to see it (He was demonstrating a stage kiss, he’s an actor) and the second time was after a speech at his party when everyone asked for it. Could he be bi or am I just reading into it too deeply or being a self-absorbed asshole? I need people’s opinions, please.

Category: Tags: asked January 1, 2014

5 Answers

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No amount of information you give strangers on the internet is going to reveal whether this guy is gay, bi, straight or into you. He could just be comfortable being intimate with his male friends. The only way you'll know is to ask him.

I know, it's scary to be vulnerable, but if you don't you'll always be stuck in this limbo.

Just ask him in a casual environment (ie. NOT when you are/have just been cuddling/flirting and when you two are alone). Tell him you've been getting some signals of interest from him, but that you're not sure if you're reading them right. Don't pressure him one way or the other, if he says he's not into you, don't say "well but we did X". Just accept it. You will not bully him into admitting he likes you.
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Ask him! its good to be straight up and find out. if my ex girlfriend had never just decided to straight up tell me she liked me i NEVER would have taken the step, cause i was so afraid to show who i really was/am. So maybe you would be helping him out to ask him, so that he can feel more comfortable telling you!
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Hello Joseph, you did the right thing in reaching out.

Since you're getting mixed signals from your friend, just level with him. Tell him that through all of your joking, you're wondering if it is all just joking or if he might be trying to tell you something.

Please keep in contact and let us know how things progress. Remember that you matter, and you are not alone.
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Although it's not something you need to know,ask him. He will answer,if he even knows. Coming from a bisexual :) wish you the best.
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He could be bisexual. Anyone could be bisexual. One way to find out is asking him upfront about his sexuality. Ask him if he's bisexual, but say that you want to know because you are betting with someone . Or you could say that you were taking a poll of all your friends that aren't straight. I did this to find out if my crush way bi or not. If it turns out that he is, ask him out romantically:)