Is it time to break up?


My boyfriend (Matt) and I have been together for almost 2 months now and we’re 16.
At first he was extremely clingy and would send me compliments all the time, tell me he missed me, and sent cute good morning texts. All of a sudden all of that just stopped. He straight up ignored me for three days straight and then was extremely distant. He was a horrible texter and would ignore me again sometimes. There were no compliments or good morning texts anymore. In person everything was fine, I saw him twice during the ignoring time and I didn’t bring it up because I hate conflict. We were totally fine in person. Absolutely perfect. But it made me feel like a makeout buddy since he wouldn’t speak to me afterwards.
The other day (After two and a half weeks of this treatment) we finally talked about it on the phone. He sounded like he was crying and he was saying he was terrified of the uncertainty of our future. I calmed him down about that. Then he was talking about how we would be such great friends but it’s too late to just be friends now. I asked if he wanted to break up multiple times and he said he did not and that he was happy being with me. I told him how awful he made me feel and he apologized and said he’d do his best to fix it however he still isn’t being very kind to me. He said he doesn’t want to say I love you anymore (I can live with that, he says it’s because he doesn’t know what love is and feels like he’s lying to me by saying it) and he doesn’t want to snapchat anymore (he would rather have real conversations, too bad he’s still not really talking to me). Now his best friends on snapchat are all other girls, I don’t know how I should feel about that.

I don’t know what to do. Should I give it another few weeks? At this point I’m getting more pain than happiness from this relationship but I like him so much. I know I love him.

Category: Tags: asked July 30, 2014

3 Answers

Oh sweetheart, you don't deserve to be in a relationship where you're unhappy. From what you have told us, it sounds like you're trying to sort out the problems between you and Matt but he isn't doing much. Now, I don't know all the details of your relationship but I think he may be trying to do the bare minimum of his side of this relationship. A relationship consists of two people who both love each other and contribute time and effort equally. I thought he may have just wanted to keep things between you and him old-school; talking in person rather than through the many social networking platforms available. But the snapchat thing you mentioned tipped me off. My advice for you would be to hold on for a bit longer (maybe a few weeks like you suggested) and see if his behavior changes. There will be quit a few bumps on the road to recovery, if you decide to stay with him and work things out. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it, if that's what you decide. I wish you all the best with your relationship. Stay strong beautiful.
I'm no relationship expert so sorry if this advice is shitty but I honestly don't think you should give it a few more weeks. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who will make you happy instead of someone whose making you feel ignored and unhappy.
If you're not happy, then you shouldn't be with him. if he's being like that from the very beginning who knows what would happen if you waited any longer.