Is it possible to hate yourself and be happy with your appearance at the same time?

I usually type too much, but im going to try to keep this brief. in short, i hate myself. i hate who i am – my personality, my way of thinking, my actions, etc. But, im perfectly fine and accepting of my appearance, if that makes any sense at all. some days i think im cute, even pretty, and other days i think im ugly, just like any other normal person. I am totally pleased with my weight and how it suits me (i dint weigh myself but I’m in the 120s) and yeah.

But, i hate who i am inside. on the outside im normal, i just hate everything inside.

Im afraid of ever telling anybody this because im afraid theyll say “you cant hate yourself and be fine with your appearance at the same time!!! that just doesnt make sense!” and im afraid theyll call my a liar, or attention-seeking.

thats my biggest fear. thats why i always make my inner fears and thoughts a joke (suicidal methods becoming most popular) and i feel bad for making the people i joke to uncomfortable, but..i just want to ask for help and i dont know how and jokes are the only way i can i dont know..

im not sure what to do. ugh. i really just do hate myself but im fine with my appearance. though i TRY not to look myself in the eyes in the mirror because it kind of weirds me out. does anyone feel this way? what s going on?

asked March 4, 2014

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Ghostly

326

3 Answers

definitely possible. people are much more than their appearances. I would consider myself confident, even sometimes cocky, but I can get very self conscious about the way I look (from being called ugly numerous times.)

It's good to like something about yourself, even just the outside. But let's not keep it there if possible. Do you feel like sometimes these same people only "like" you for your appearances? If not, try talking to them. If they sincerely care they won't turn it around to make it feel like you shouldn't have problems just because of your appearance. If you think they're good friends, then it should be okay to tell them. So many times we get self conscious around people we care about when they wouldn't mind hearing our problems anyway.

It is said that they eyes are a window to your soul. Maybe that's why you don't like looking in the mirror: because you already hate yourself--why would you want to look at you too? Talk to someone if you can, there's nothing wrong with you :) at least you recognized there's a problem that needs to be fixed.

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notnothing

127

Been there. I am a very nice looking girl and I know Im attractive on the outside. But just like a book its what inside that makes up the story. I was in your place last summer. Over and over in my head I just kept saying I hate myself i hate who i have become. I hate these thoughts i have in my head. I was tired of being me. It was either get help or worse... suicide... On the urgence of good friends i got my self into counsiling. And going to a therapist too. Its been almost six monthes and i am doing a lot better. You have to believe you want to be better. Believe you can get your inside to match your outside. I think a lot of my issues layed in the favt of having someone else always hold me up. Pat my back. And then when they are gone. You seem to lose your self worth with it. But from what ive gone through. The more you talk and open up the better. You have already made the first step. You are hear on this site. Reaching out. I praise you for taking that step. See how brave you are. Let that start moving you in the right direction. And always know you have someone to lean on when the road gets rocky. Itll take time. But you are worth it!!!

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bent not broken

I think notnothing and bent not broken have said it all. I just want to chime it to let you know that I've also been afraid to look at my eyes in a mirror. Afraid of what hideous creature I'll see reflected there. I've also always been pretty content with the way that I look, but hated everything else about myself, and I want to let you know that you can always change who you are inside. Bent said it well, talking about it, it'll take time, and I'll add that you have to really want to change, you can't just want to stop being who you are, you have to constantly watch yourself to make sure you are being who you want to be. It's hard and it takes time, but it's possible.

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Philosophical Mud

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