is it okay to hate your boyfriend’s best friend?

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even before me and my boyfriend started dating, i didnt like him. and then finding out that my boyfriend hangs out with him, made me angry. he’s just annoying and never stops talking about cars. i mean my boyfriend talks about cars, but not nearly as much as he does.

also, my boyfriend talks about him like theyre a married couple. always bringing him up, and i’ve had enough. when me and my boyfriend arent together, he’s with him.

is it okay to hate your boyfriend’s best friend?

Category: Tags: asked April 12, 2014

6 Answers

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Surely it's okay to be a bit jealous. But I think hate might be a tad bit too extreme. If he makes your boyfriend happy and he's not trying to sabotage your relationship I think it should be fine. But I can understand why you would feel that way. However, do you have a best friend? If so, it's the same thing. You have someone who is like a sibling to you. If it bothers you that much though then discuss with your boyfriend to mention his best friend less. It's okay if your boyfriend hangs out with him, after all they're buddies!
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I also think hate is on the extreme side in this case, as he hasn't done nothing to you to deserve hate. He is not a terrorist killing people or someone that is very toxic to be around, at least he does not seem like such a person. He has differences that you don't feel like dealing with. It's okay to not like someone or feel connected with someone but "hate" someone because he talks of cars too much is not something that "nice". Everyone likes talking a lot about the things they love of. He might have an obsession though which can be a little unhealthy to obsesses over things so much but he does not deserve hate. Yeah you might be jealous of your bf talking of him so often but have you discuss that with your bf? Have you tell his best friend that cars make you feel bored, so if you could talk of something else that you both enjoy? Have you been open with them or you give in to hateful feelings without giving them the chance to explain themselves? Take your time and have a healthy conversation with both of that. That would help a lot.
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I struggle with the same issue -.- but him being my boyfriend, I accept all that he is and what he comes with. His best friend is one of the pieces of the puzzle he is. Without his best friend he wouldn't be the same. Even though I wouldn't mind if he did stop talking about cars along with his best friend, it's a part of him and I love him.
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This friend means a lot to him, the friend was there before you, every gf that hated my best friend tried making me spend less time with him, it made me upset, you dont have to like everyone but if the fact that they hang out and your bf talks about him really angers you, then you should not be in a relationship.
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It's ok to not like him, but it's better to tune how much he is in your life rather than harboring hate.

You can avoid him, make him someone your boyfriend frequents on his own, while you go doing some activities you like, so you don't resent the time they spend together. Go less to events where all three of you are necessarily attending, and ask your boyfriends more couple activities that involve just you two.

If he starts speaking about him, point out nicely how much he talks about him , and change argument.
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I think you should just try to deal with because it's your boyfriend and it's supposed to be someone you love so you have to accept with who he hangs around with and how important this guy is in his life, just tell him how you feel "It's uncomfortable." "Sometimes I feel like he's a priority in your life" and he may minimize his all talking about him with you and whatsoever, but sometimes it's just learning to deal with the fact that there are other people in your boyfriends' life.