Is it impossible?

1

There’s this guy who I really like, but the problem is that he lives in India and I live in Finland. We’ve actually known each other for a while, cause the first time I talked to him was when I was 15. I fell in love with him and he loved me too, but for some reason I just panicked cause it was getting more serious. I thought we would never meet anyway so what’s the point, and stopped talking to him. After that we haven’t spoken much, but a month ago he started to talk to me again. He has helped me a lot with my troubles and tried to cheer me up. I confessed him that I like him, but the problem is he’s afraid that I’m gonna hurt him again. I don’t know how to make him believe I will never do it again and I’ve changed a lot. I also have so many doubts in my mind: Is it even possible for us to meet? Is it stupid to like him? Could we ever have a future together? I’m just really confused…

Category: asked February 10, 2014

5 Answers

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Hello MarjaElisa! Wow, you have a very interesting situation! I don't have any experience in long distance relationships, but I do have some experience with different cultures. I have been to different countries and met people of both genders. Here's my advice for you. If you are from different cultures, I would HIGHLY suggest meeting him first. Of course, in a place that is safe for you. That should rule out if you really do like him or not. (My brother once flew to a different country to meet a girl he met on the internet only to discover that they were not compatible) Second, if you find you really are interested in him, experience his culture and people from his culture. This will give you a better idea of his cultural expectations in a relationship. Yes, there are often times big differences (you may find one that you just cannot accept or overcome). If you find after both steps you still want to develop a relationship with him and are afraid of falling in love with him, then ask yourself and him key questions that might seem obvious to you, but that could make or break a relationship. Example: if we got married, where would we live (India or Holland), does he want children, has he dated other people before, what are his views on relationships/marriage/finances, and so on. If you both find you want a serious relationship that will hopefully lead to marriage, then carefully consider these things. If you just want a short term relationship, then I would say don't bother messing with the guy and let him go, especially if he is thinking seriously about you. I hope this helps :)
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I wouldn't say impossible, but it may be incredibly difficult. I follow a couple on Tumblr and one of them lives in America and the other in Australia, they have met. It'd take a lot of work, probably cost a fair bit of money. Would it be worth it over all? That's your decision to make.
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Lovejoy covered basically everything I would have said, but for one thing: I love your country, Miss Marja. I would move to Finland and never look back.

Rakkaus löytää tapa.
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Thank you everyone for your great advice, they helped a lot! :) Yes, there are many things I need to think about and discuss with him, but there's one thing that's sure: I really want to meet him someday, at least for once, and see if we are compatible or not. Thanks again guys, you're awesome!
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You can do whatever you want. We have planes, trains, boats, and automobiles. There are many ways to come together. But long distance relationships are difficult and stressful but can be very rewarding if you form a close bond throughout it all. If you're serious, I think you two should plan a meeting. Personally I wouldn't go to India, at least not to live. That place is sorta toxic, they crap everywhere!