Is it bad if I have this tendency to befriend people with hangups?
A lot of people have problems, I totally get that, but I – apparently – choose people who have these hangups to be friends with, and it’s kind of masochistic of me. It’s like I’m on drugs (this is what a certain friend told me one day). I know it’s bad. I know it’s no good for me, but I still take it.
Am I unconsciously wanting this for myself? If so, what do I do?
Hello Miss Lyn, and thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
Masochism, is it? Well strictly speaking, there's nothing wrong with admitting which handlebar revs your engine, but that is when you are fully aware of what you enjoy. When it is almost a sub-conscious act, the game changes.
Since you are unaware as to why you are attracted to hangups, your safest bet is to avoid the type to which you are attracted and give yourself some breathing room to figure things out.
Please keep in contact and keep us updated on how things progress.
I am exactly the same way, and I am often told that. For me I take it as a sign that I always want to busy with helping others, and to me these kind of people can be the most caring and intresting people to speak with. This is one of the reasons I joined the site.
Some people have a need to be needed which CAN be unhealthy. If it's causing you to ignore your own needs it's a problem. If you are helping and befriending others out of love then I don't see the problem. Just don't neglect your own needs is all. Overall, being a helpful person is a good thing. You just have to watch out for the pitfalls that come with being that way.