is it bad i said this?

i have said this “OK daniel, so basically your sad cos your 20, got no job and live at home ok? well my brother is gay, has adhd , has been bullied all his life, is 21 has no job and lives at home…. when he was away at uni for a year he tried to commit suicide twice…. i only know this cos i over heard a sad conversation between my brother and mum thought the floor. just hearing he had tried made me cry… how do you think i would of felt knowing my own brother fell so alone and upset that even his family could not help him? and what would of happen to my family? my mum and dad would of been devastated and our family, and you say only afew people would care? well still so what? people would care…. you have no brother and no sisters (that i know of) what would your parents do knowing that there son would rather kill him self then talk to them? can you even imagine how that would make them feel?i fucking can knowing about my brother… he has no friends from school as he was fully bullied, he does not go out to town or anything… yet he is happy cos he found what he enjoys in life and does that, he spends time with our parents and he could not be happier. so you may feel shitty at the moment but that’s life…. suck it up, and move on. do something then, make your life better if you don’t like it don’t be a fucking little shit and make your whole family suffer because you arnt willing to ask for help you selfish little bastard!” to a friend online and told him to go wake up his mum and to tell her and then phone a hotline as he feels depressed and is thinking about committing suicide, should i done this?

Category: Depression Tags: suicide asked November 4, 2013

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pengin

4 Answers

You shouldn't have said that to your friend. Depending on how suicidal he is, he could've interpreted that the wrong way and would've pushed him more so into committing suicide. I totally agree with MemorableFriend. You can't compare one person's problem with someone else's. Everyone has things in their life that upsets them and 99% of the time, those things aren't the same as the next fella. Some may consider it small or not worth being depressed about but to them it is. Try talking to your friend again but try and be supportive and loving. It's about him, remember.

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ForeignGoddess

1,823

Don't ever compare somebodies problems to somebody else's. You need to be compassionate to peoples problems even if you think they aren't as serious as they do.

Just try to show more compassion.

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MemorableFriend

222

Yeah, this was definitely the wrong this to say. I agree wholeheartedly with the answer above. Also, I suggest you apologize. The thing is, people don't respond well when you talk to them like that. It's always better to be compassionate, and when you are, their chances of hearing your opinion is greater, instead of just tuning you out. You friend mostly likely didn't ask for help simple because he didn't want to weight anyone else down and he was ashamed of his problem. To him is was selfless, not selfish. however, to you, it was quite the opposite. Please try to see his life through his eyes before judging. Depression is caused by chemicals in the brain, and your friend thinks and feels differently than you because of these chemicals. I urge you to apologize to your friend and offer to be there for him, even though he may not want to talk to you after what you've said.

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Alexis

562

This is certainly the worst thing to do in that particular situation, but it's understandable that you're frustrated to a point. That being said, your friend (in that moment) needs, as the above answers have stated, compassion and a little bit of empathy in terms of what he's facing right now. It may seem illogical and selfish to you, and maybe to the rest of the world, but that will never take away from what he is feeling. In any circumstance, it can help to take a step back, calm yourself, then come back to the situation. Like I said, it may seem like complete and utter bullshit to you, but that's not how your friend sees it.Though I don't agree with what you said by any means, that doesn't make you a bad person, but it was a bad decision. I also think that you should apologize, and that (if you're so inclined) you should offer an ear to listen and reaffirm that you're there for him, but that you get frustrated sometimes. Realistically, that may not happen seeing as your message was pretty harsh, but it is worth a try, especially if you care for him.

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jelly

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