Is he interested in me? Im out of my element


I met this guy a while ago, and I was super courageous (which is not in my character) and I asked if he wanted to “hang out sometime”.
we met up for coffee and just talked for three hours. it was very casual, more of a get to know you meet up than a date. it was amazingly fun and he made a point of saying that he rarely meets people he is interested in talking to for that long, so I felt it went well.
after that we texted for a few days, and he mentioned wanting to go grocery shopping together (hes really into cooking) but after a few days he just stopped replying. a week later with no contact, I was disappointed he hadnt attempted to contact me, and I asked a guy friend about it (im totally oblivious so i get outside opinions sometimes) and they said the mention of shopping was probably him asking me out, so I texted asking if the offer still stood, and he said yes. the trip was fun, and there was a little restaurant in the store that we had dinner at. again, it was casual and friendly, and a lot of fun.
he says things that are a little flirty sometimes, and he mentioned he had just gotten out of a long relationship recently, so I hoped he was just taking things slowly, but again, we texted a few days (were both really busy, so it was just a text or two a day) but than he just stopped replying, so Im waiting for him to initiate conversation, but its just not happening (he is on a trip right now, but it was about a week before the trip that he stopped texting me).
he mentioned he is passive with women, and I usually spend time with really pushy foreword guys, so im out of my element.
I really like this guy, but I have no idea how to be foreword about my interest or initiate anything
My friends keep saying they think he is into me, but im doubtful.
do you think he has any feelings for me? and should I keep trying to initiate conversation and hanging out or just move on?

Category: Tags: asked August 10, 2014

2 Answers

Sometimes, us guys really have trouble with approaching relationships. It's impossible for me to say whether I think he's into you or not, as I don't know him, nor do I know you. There might be a lot going through his mind at the moment. As you said, he mentioned just getting out of a relationship. That, to me, is an indication that he is a little vulnerable with his feelings at the moment. If he is passive around women, you're going to have a hard time trying to get him to come to you. That, in combination with his recent break-up makes it highly unlikely for him to make the first move.Just by reading through what you have written, it seems that you really do want something to happen with this guy. If I were you, I'd be weighing up the possibility of you initiating conversation and getting a relationship out of it, or you initiating the conversation and getting the cold shoulder. Either way, it sounds like you may have to make the first move.Hope this helps.
I think you need to ask yourself if you really like being around this guy who is awesome, until he stops caring about having you in his life. Right now 'taking things slowly' seems to mean "We'll do things MY WAY, WHEN I feel like it, IF I feel like it". It seems he's cool with spending a couple of hours with you every now and then (once a month?). Is that what you want, today, from a (casual) relationship? If yes, keep at it. If no, look around for other dating occasions, you are not exclusive, you can keep texting him to see what happens but do look for people who say 'fuck yeah' at the idea of meeting you and talking to you often.