is going out with your ex considered cheating?


we lived together for 5 yrs but had to end it coz she thought she really can’t do it, cant tell her family about us(we’re both girls). Love was never an issue its with the situation.It’s been a year now since we broke up. She’s dating this guy and he knew everything about us. They’re now long distance and we(her and me) see each other without him knowing. I mean we dont do “anything” besides talking and eating. But it feels like nothing had happened and like we’re still together. we talk about everything just like before, eat our favorite food,etc. was that cheating? I dont think we could get back together but I dont know. What are we doing? what should I do?

Category: Tags: asked September 25, 2014

5 Answers

It sounds like you are acting as good friends, and that's ok, but her boyfriend would probably like to not be kept in the dark about this. That's for her to handle.
As for you, if you see this becoming (mutually) something more intense than a friendship, like an emotional affair, then yes, you would be going towards cheating.
I don't know what she is thinking, but maybe you still have feelings for her and it's the reason you feel like this is not ok, and it's up to you to decide if you can still hang with her as a friend, or be upfront about it.
Thank you so much for all of your input guys. I'm just really confused right now. Her sisters love me and we even went out together. She sent me quotes or sayings about regrets,like finding true love only once. she even told me she hasnt completely moved on and that it if only the situation is different,we would have been married with kids. Its just soooo sad.
Technically to most people what you were doing would NOT be considered cheating. But what cheating is differs from person to person so it's possible that if her current boyfriend found out that he WOULD consider that cheating because feelings are involved and time is being spent with you in place of with him since he can't be there because of the distance, she's filling the void with you, which in all honesty still isn't right.It seems like what YOUR doing is keeping her close, and you probably DO feel as if there's a chance that something can spark back up between the two of you that will bring you two together again (which IS possible!). However, what she's doing seems more like she's trying to stay in her comfort zone. And being with you for as long as she has, that's what you are to her - a security blanket!I would truly sit down and talk with her seriously if I were you. I'd ask her where her head and heart is at and if she truly feels like being in a relationship with this other person is REALLY want she wants. If you two only broke up because of your gender and her family... honestly... that's a sad reason. But if she can't sort out her head and make up her mind, your better off doing it for her and walking away from the situation. Otherwise, your feelings will get involved even more and you'll end up getting hurt in the end.Good luck to you! <3
There are two types of cheating.

Physical Cheating - Where you are sleeping with, kissing or otherwise being physically intimate with someone other than your partner.

Emotional Cheating - This is when you're in romantic love with someone who is not your partner. Not everyone considers this cheating though. It would depend on your friends' boyfriend and how he sees your relationship.

That she's not telling her boyfriend about your relationship to her does sound like she's trying to hide something so even if you two weren't cheating, emotionally or physically, he might feel like he's been lied to or misled.

I think the two of you need to talk. You need to find out where her headspace is, she might be dating him just because she feels like she can't be with you. If that is the case you two need to figure that out. If she does actually want to be with you and her parents are an issue, try to find a support group to help you guys.
Chances are if she's sneaking around she probably feels guilty. She should be honest with him at the very least. The longer she waits the more upset he'll be and lord help her if he finds out another way.