I met him several years ago. We started seeing each other, but nothing serious. It was very nice, but I refused a relationship because I thought I would not be able to trust him because he is having concerts every weekend, surrounded by other girls because he really looks good and I would not feel comfortable because of that. After I refused a relationship, we have not talked for a while, but I was thinking of him all the time. Later we met a couple of times accidentally and we both knew we are still having feelings for each other. In the meantime, I started a relationship with a boyfriend who is a year younger than me. He’s great, a little frivolous, but he really loves me. My first „boyfriend“ also began a relationship with his new girlfriend. we are both in a relationship for more than a year, but I am thinking about him all the time and I want him to know how I feel about him. The biggest problem is that I am afraid to lose a boyfriend who loves because of someone who maybe does not want me at all, but I just feel this is not what I want! What am I supposed to do? Break up with my boyfriend and try something that might be impossible or keep my mouth shut?!

Category: asked May 30, 2013

3 Answers

As a guy here I really would want you to be honest with your boyfriend and tell him he's not the one you really want to be with. It's not fair to him that you want this other guy. You chose not to be with this guy, and then picked the guy you are with now. Think about the reasons why you are with the guy you are now and if those reasons are good and worth fighting for you gotta put the thought of ever being with the other guy out of your head. If you want to give the other guy a shot break up with your boyfriend and wait till he's single too before messing with a relationship but I do think that if you jump from relationship to relationship without ending you are stepping on people's emotions. Being single might give you some time to think about what you really want in a partner but don't just jump at the first sign of interest a guy has in you or you'll end up hurting and tossed aside after the guys get what they want. Sorry if it sounds mean but you have to think about what you want and at the same time consider your current boyfriends feelings too.
Trust your first gut instincts! "What if" thinking only leads to trouble. Once you tell him and break it off you might not be able to get him back then if things don't pan out with Mr. Concert then you will be wondering what life would be like if you hadn't dumped the younger guy! If everything inside you is telling you not tell him then don't! It is normal inside a relationship to wonder what it's like on the outside. There will always be someone that tempts you. Make yourself a promise that if your relationship with youngone ever finds it's natural end you will look up Mr. Concert. :)
I think you should follow your heart. What you're doing with your current boyfriend isn't fair to him. If you stay in a relationship with someone you don't love, you're going to end up blaming him and ruin the possibility of the two of you even being friends. Talk to the guy you really love. The worst that can go wrong is you get turned down, right? And the best is that you're with someone you truly love. In these cases, following your heart is always the right thing to do, I promise.