Introverted with Family


So basically my whole life I have been kinda introverted, even around my family. Family gatherings are so boring for me….most of my childhood I kept to myself and just sat and played video games. I love my family and I know they love me……but I have never felt particularly close to them in a social manner. Our viewpoints differ in many ways, as do our life styles, choices, and interests. I try to become interested in what they might be talking about, but I am just NOT, I almost feel isolated socially. I know it is my own fault, though, but I want to feel closer to them socially. Again, they are loving and caring and have always cared for me and included me, but I feel so introverted and socially distant from them. I don’t know what to do. I am so used to just sitting down at family gatherings and just playing video games until it is time to eat or something because I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to engage them in a meaningful way, and I just feel so awkward even though I know we could be a lot closer.

Not only that, but if i DO try to engage, the subject of my dad, who my mom’s family hates, comes up…and I just get so uncomfortable because I love my dad and I can’t stand it when they talk bad about him…and I can’t stand listening to it either. I have never been one stand up for what I believe in with them because they intimidate me.

There is a family gathering tomorrow and I want to have a good time…but I feel like I will just default to playing video games again because it is my escape so I don’t have to engage them if I don’t want to….any ideas?

Category: asked May 2, 2014

2 Answers

An introverted personality isn't a bad thing, first of all. On top of that, it can be extremely difficult to relate to people, especially if they don't hold the same values you do. It sounds to me like you're kind of the odd man out at these family gatherings because you simply don't click with that crowd. Depending on how old you are, your values may or may not shift, meaning, there is a possibility that you'll never reach the same intimacy that some of your family has with each other. But guess what? That's totally 100% okay. That doesn't mean you won't have SOME intimacy with your family. Firstly, if you can't find anything to talk about, then school or work is a great place to start. School and work are two things that almost everyone has, is, or has to go through at some point in their life. People understand general things like hard work and achievement. Focus on commonalities. Interests can be a little more tricky because everyone has different tastes. You're a gamer, but not everyone in your family is (or at least, I assume so). So try to tailor the conversation accordingly. I hope this helps! Best of luck at your next family gathering!
well i don't really think you should change that, if its making you uncomfortable.i have always been a VERY introverted person, but since i am part of a VERY extroverted kind of culture that require having lots of guests every week, neighbors and going to BOTH sides of the family on the weekends and have PLENTY of loud crowded weddings all the time, its actually hard to feel comfortable in my country, however i don't think it is the best thing to do to suddenly be social out of nowhere.all your life they were used to you being introverted and quite, if the REALLY wanted to change you trust me THEY WOULD but if YOU want to change your relationship with them you should do it steadily over time, ex if there was someone ur age or even not engage them in non-strieghtforward manner like in social network or something and well it would be easier to communicate, when a family gathering DO happen they would eventually try to continue the subject you were having with them in the chat and eventually others will start to include you in their would EVENTUALLY feel comfortable around them even if you do not talk much they wouldn't isolate you and EVENTUALLY you could start sharing your thoughts.this is MY reasoning, its up to you wither you try it or not.