Interesting story for you to read + Love advice needed

0

I have a complicated relationship with this girl

Firstoff, about two months ago I fell in love with her, she told me her deepest secrets and kept asking for attention, she even shortened her vacation abroad from 2 weeks to 4 days, she sent me pictures of herself.. i really had the feeling she was in love too. When she came back I told her I loved her, i told her how i felt and let her read a poetry-isch text (that i wrote myself) about how i felt about her, she told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship and denied me. We both cried during the conversation. The day after that she ignored me, then she continued to ignore me. She ignored me untill i kinda got over her, which sucked very very, very hard.

When i kinda got over her we talked, she was sorry for ignoring me.
The next friday we went out together with some friends, when i was with her i felt myself falling for her again. That same day, after i went out with my friends and her, I met her ex and a very good friend of mine that i hadnt seen for a really long time together, i started talking to them.

The conversation was about tatoos, i told them that his ex ( the girl im in love with) has tatoos aswell, i never saw them, i took her word for it, she told me she covered them with bronzer anyway so her parents wouldnt see. She told me she tatood a feather in memory of her best friend who died 8 months ago(!!!), when i said this to her ex he told me that she doesn’t have any tatoos and that friend never existed, he had hard evidence (believe me). As i was in shock i started thinking about what she couldve lied about aswell.

To shorten things up, i confronted her and i found out about her lieng about having vocal cord cancer (who lies about cancer right?) this friend and having tatoos, she lied about a story where she told me her grandpa had to throw his dad in the fire during the holocaust (she’s jewish). I was disgusted and confused for a month or so, we ignored eachother again.

After some time we talked again, i asked for a cigarette and asked her why exactly she lied about all this stuff. She told me out she didn’t know, she did it to be cool and researched why she lied about these things turns out she’s a pathological liar (i already knew this as someone told me on this site). She said sorry and promised me to never lie again, except against her parents…

She invited me to her birthday party and i went with some friends, 50 people were coming and i knew alot of them so i went aswell. We talked alot and had a great time, she kissed me (long lip on lip contact no tongue, some might find this an important detail) and we shared three intimate hugs, keep in mind we’re both drunk and high, but still in control. After that, the same night, i drank 3/4th bottle of pure vodka, smoked 3 joints and had 5 beers, i went bad and my friends helped me home. The next day we talked on facebook and had a nice conversation, we skyped (she wanted to) and had a great time we also talked about what happend yesterday, we had sexually tinted conversations (kinda talked about how long a guy with alot of muscle could fuck someone while carrying them, things like that)

I feel myself falling for her again, we have so much common intrests (music, anime, humor, outgoing life, friends…) and she’s not that bad of a person, just a girl that has to be fixed a little (much) i think.

Also, theres this friend of mine that she had a crush on not so long ago (half a month ago or so it’s still a fresh wound), but his feelings werent strong enough for her (she knew this) she got over him she told me, and him, when i told him she was in love with him. He knows about the fact she lied about big stupid things, only doesnt know about what exactly. This friend of mine sees her alot, she also kissed him on her birthday. I know she trusts this guy with evrything, like she did with me.

Is this guy competition? (eventhough he told me his feelings werent strong enough for her for a relationship)
Is persuing her worth it (after all she has done)?

I feel like i’m in a position where i can retreat without getting hurt to much and on the other hand i can persue her and fall in love with her again if i keep hanging around her.

What do i do? Please help

asked May 19, 2014

2 Answers

1
That is quite a complicated love story. I think the important thing is keeping in contact with her, the last thing you want is a huge argument or some sort of fight breaking out. Keep talking to her and keep getting to know her better and better. There's also a possibility that she lies for a reason? Maybe she's hiding something or she's insecure or maybe she doesn't feel like she can be interesting without lying.It's important that she knows how you feel about her and everything thats going on, so I think if i was in that position I would wait a little big longer, just to see how things go and to see if I was ready and to see if she was ready, and then I would pursue her because wouldn't being with her make your dreams come true and make you happy? Don't miss out on an opportunity that you will regret for a long time because you'll live the rest of your life not knowing what would happen.Whatever happens be sure about your decision and dont make any hasty decisions when you're really really upset or angry, give it time and things will work out fine. Stay strong
1
I would just say take your time with this.Get to know her. And make sure you are getting to know who she ACTUALLY is.The person that you thought she was and had feelings for, is not who she actually is.Work on honesty with her and getting to know her without the lies and stories.If she can't be honest with you, how are you ever supposed to trust her in a relationship?I think there could be potential, but I definitely wouldn't rush into anything until you know who she really is.I held a relationship with an extreme pathological liar and even when the truth came out, she continued to lie and it ended because 1) she was not able to tell the truth and became so caught up in the lies that she actually believed they were the truth and 2) I was not able to trust her on anything she said. It's very difficult to maintain a relationship with this stress.