I’m so confuse please help me.

Last month I found out my boyfriend was apart of a lot of gay websites , he even had ads posted on Craigslist for men..I was so shocked and hurt because me & him have 2 babies together . One year old and a 6 week old …& of course I confronted him about it, first he tried to lie and blame it on his friend ..but he ended up telling me that sometimes he has thoughts and they get out of control but he promise
Me thAt he never cheated on me and that he has never done it with a guy …after about a week I forgave him , & then I went on his phone and read his ads he wrote on craigslist from awhile back some of them saying “I Haven’t had some good d*** in a while nd he’s strictly bottom …and then I started to wonder how did he knew what position he liked , on a good note , he did delete his user accounts on the gay sites …but about a week ago I brought the situation back up after I told him I wouldn’t and I asked him how he knows what position he likes and he said he didn’t know his thoughts just got outta hand and he wrote random stuff ..and he started hitting hisself in the face cause he was mad , I didn’t let go of the situation .& I told him I was sorry and I wouldn’t bring it up no more ..I did let him know that i didn’t care if he was gay but he keeps telling me he’s not. I just want him to be faithful to me and idk if he’ll be able to control it later on in life …like will he leave me? Were both 20 . Then tonight I looked on his phone and all he watches is gay porn but he says he’s not gay. It will break my heart …if me and him stop dAting but I don’t wanna get hurt . I just need help

Category: Dating & Relationships asked March 27, 2014

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Ashley0630

3 Answers

I agree with Hear-to-help-u but I would also suggest staying supportive but firm. It's perfectly alright if he's trying to figure out his sexuality, it's not okay for him to cheat. He might be gay, he might be straight, he might be somewhere in between. The thing is, he needs to figure this out on his own. Try to be there for him if he needs to talk but don't confront him on this. Don't be aggressive. As stupid as it sounds there still isn't a complete acceptance of homosexuality, and there's even less acceptance for bi- and pansexual individuals. Just from what I've seen.
Stay strong, I promise this isn't the end of the world. Even if he does decide he'd rather be with a man that doesn't mean he'll stop loving you or your children.

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punky

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From what you wrote about him, he sounds like he may be confused with his own sexuality. You both are young and just finding yourselves in life.To him the word "Gay" could mean something negative, in which he feels horrid about himself, hence his denial. He is unsure of himself, his wants, desires and feelings. He is probably going through a very "confusing" time in his life and is trying to figure himself out.Many men and women who are Gay, try to hide it from themselves. With age and maturity they eventually come to terms with living their authentic life style, and find their true selves with happiness and joy.If you are confused imagine being him? I wonder what his parents, family , friends view on homosexuality is? He could be scared of how others he loves/respects will react to his life choice would/will be.I feel for you! This is deff. a HUGE NEON sign, keep yourself aware of this.Best of luck.....

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Hear-to-help-u

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I agree with punky. i would also like to add the following: I have an ex who was bi. I am a very open minded person so when he told me this I though it over very hard. What I came to in the end is men and women are very different so having sex with each would also be very different. So I did not take anything hurtful from this because I came to the fact that there were things that a man could do for him that I could not and vise versa. That being said I went back to my bf and told him how I felt but that he was still not allowed to be with anyone else. That I felt that would still be cheating. There are many different ways to look at this. But no matter what you should still support him and punky is right he will still love you and your kids no matter what path he takes.

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J.How