My head is all over the place I can’t think straight?
I was seeing a guy but we never dated he is 5 years younger than I was. We spoke online for a few years until we decided to meet up because I was genuinely beginning to have feelings for him. he kept saying you’ll break my heart i know you will etc , so we met up and it was just sex I was a big stupid idiot believing he was the one so we met up few more times until he told me via text we are done. now from emailing to texting everyday to that was devastating I begged and phoned done all the stupid things no woman should do. I got abuse I was fat, smelly rubbish in bed still I persisted then he blocked me i slowly came out of my depression until he contacted me again I thought maybe this could be it he does want me, I was wrong just used for sex again same cycle happened again this time getting random girls joinin in with the abuse. Im so alone I feel ashamed I feel dirty I feel stupid for falling for someone before met the person.. I’m basically at my lowest now and no idea what to do with my life, I found out off him he used me because he was just out jail and was on curfew and im the sad loser who fell for it, and bragging he has loads of women and I’ll never get better than him, he said no one likes me and no one cares about me, I’m nothing.. I’ve asked this question elsewhere but all I get is get over it find someone else.. but I’m so ashamed how can tell people I was a crazy mental stalker who kept begging to be loved? I even gave him money on promise he never contacted me again so if he felt bad for me crying why come back and do it to me again and again?