I’m numb but don’t want to feel anything

I feel kinda imilar to this, because I know how it is not having real interest in anything and not having a clear idea of what do I want, yeah. Remember that going through bad times is going to "carve" your personality, and you seem you went through a lot of things. Don't worry, I so understand it, I can't actually remember any moment being happy or feeling good even as a child, too.And yeah, what laina told you about improving your skills is great, I also spend my days between school things, headphones always on and drawing, that's my life. Drawing is a great way to scape reality and to express yourself. You can insist on that if that makes you feel better, for example I focused on it and I'm becoming a digital artist, but I'm sure that's not the point, right? of course not, you have some other issues that can't be solved in this way.So, what I think is that you already went through a lot and that the fact you are aware of what is wrong is a great step. We're no superheroes and we can't change all all of a sudden, so break those things into little problems and start solving it little by little, step by step.btw being homeschooled seems like it is not good with improving social skills, for exmaple I udnerstand how much you can be afraid of taking to people but think that if you don't change anything, nothing is gonna magically change, or no one magically like you is gonna knock on your door and start talking to you. maybe it sounded a bit rude, but we both know it is like that. maybe you can start a group activitie in your city/town which includes something you enjoy doing so it's easier, and you get to know people that likes that same thing so it would be easier to start talking.Set little targets that you know you can beat even if they scare you like going for a walk, then maybe asking for something and then talking a bit... I know it's scary, but think? what could be the worst?It's not mandatory to see a theraphist you know, but it could help.I don't know what else to say, I just felt the need to write some things because I feel so so like that.And please feel free to start a talk if you want, I promise I don't bite ^^ you seem to not feeling very well and I don't mind talking with someone who is in trouble, specially if that person is so alike.

The only way to get passed this problem is to try and work it out. Go out and find something you see interesting. Spend your time improving your skills, the best reward is that feeling of accomplishment :D Maybe the best way to move on is to make amends with your past. This is very difficult, but there are many people who will help you out through this. Therapist are not there to judge you, but to help you.Sorry if my advice isn't that great, but I hope I helped. You seem like your going through troubles, I just want you to know that you are perfect. What happened in your past will mean less and less in your future :) Keep moving on and work for a great future. We don't have a road map in life, so asking for help is perfectly normal :L

feeling numb and being emotionless is, although many don't know it, a telltale sign of depression. You don't have to be feeling sad to have depression. Feeling lethargic or sluggish, having no passion, are all symptoms of depression. I just wanted you to know this. It's not healthy to feel this way, and I have gone through this myself. There is a difference between feeling content, and feeling indifferent. If you have no love for life, you should look for reasons as hard as that is. I also advise you to get therapy. It should help. Feeling numb is not a way out, it is actually something that keeps you from opportunities of feeling joy. feeling numb is just as bad as feeling sad.