I’m in love with a meth addict.

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I fell in love at 13, and for 6 or so months I was off an on with who had been my best friend for 2 years. After I moved hundreds of miles away (we had already been seperated for awhile) we lost touch. We reconnected for a time a few months ago, and I could still feel like she had me wrapped around her finger. I hated that she still had me pegged. But she’s relapsed, and has been on meth for a while now. I know what addiction does to people, I’ve had my own struggles and it’s very common in my immediate family. But she’s shut me out! She still feels like I’m the same person I was 1 year and a half ago, even though I’m much different. How to I get her to let me in? Let me talk her through things and be there for her as a friend?

Category: Tags: asked July 4, 2014

2 Answers

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Hello there,

I'm sorry that you're having this trouble with your friend. It sounds very difficult.

Many people with addictions may distance themselves from people as a result, and it is very difficult for everyone involved.

The only thing you can do is offer to be there for her. Taking responsibility for somebody else's life or issues is not the answer.

Your friend needs help, but unfortunately when people we love need our help we aren't always the best person to help. If her addiction is causing issues for her, the only thing you can do is offer support and give her the resources to get better.

You need to remember to look after yourself first- you cannot help anybody unless you do that as a priority.

I have included a link below for Nar-Anon, a group dedicated to helping people who are affected by people with drug addiction:

I hope this helps.
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Sorry to hear this. But heres something to consider: Where she is at now, everyone around her is holding her there and, yes, she needs someone to pull her out, but if you do she might fall back in once left alone again. If, however, she pulls herself out, then she is more likely to be more stable in the long term. How do you help her help herself: make yourself exclusive as to when she can be with you.Think of it like escaping a hole: if it comes to you, then you will probably forget about it. But if YOU have to climb out, using everything you have to taste freedom, then its so much sweeter.So try and make where you're at (I.e: Clean) seem like a place she would/should want to be.Hope it goes well.