I have had a history of sexual assault and abuse since the age of about 6-7, which led me to believe in my teenage years that sex was a normal thing and that I was required to sleep with every male who tried with me or I would be hurt or judged or really anything negative would happen to me. I did not realise I was being abused, because i always thought that I was in the wrong for not forcing these people off me, that I was just simply a slut, and I never had a parental figure to turn to. I was in and out of relationships constantly and only recently (I’m now 17) have I realised that I’ve slowly started to recognise it was abuse, and retreat from sexual activity and relationships thanks to a recent heart break and the internet educating me on these things after researching it. Now I have realised that I never emotionally liked it when people touched me, mistaking it for physical pleasure, and that I only ever really liked it when I was emotionally connected to the person (which only happened twice). I have recently started liking a girl, thinking I was straight. So for obvious reasons I was really confused so I decided to research about different sexual orientations, and a demisexual seems to fit me, but so does Gray-a sexual and simply bi-curious. Also, sorry for the long rant but I felt I needed to share so that you would understand my story and make accurate judgements based on this information. But thoughts?
