I’m a stay at home mom and I feel like I get no respect


I’ve been a stay at home mom now for going on 4 years, my son will be 4 in just a few weeks and my daughter just turned 8 months, I stopped working and quit classes, My son has Duchenne muscular dystrophy, speech delay and has behavioral problems (being evaluated for autism) my husband works mon-fri at a truck stop as a general manager, he is supposed to work 10 hour days, but most of the time he will stay over which means he winds up working 14-16 hours, sometimes I think he stays late just so can avoid coming home, when he is home he sits in his chair either playing on his iPad, iPhone or watching tv, he’s constantly getting text messages from various people he works with, wheni ask for help with the kids at night he says he’s busy, or too tired, doesn’t feel good, so I wind up doing all the diaper changed, feelings, baths, story times, play times, etc, I ask him to spend time with the kids he sits in the chair and puts them in his lap doesn’t interact hardly at all, the kids are clearly not wanting to sit still in his lap instead would rather be playing on the floor he says he’s spending time with the kids, makes me so mad, he gets on me when his work clothes aren’t washed when he wants them to be, I do loads of laundry every other day, I tell him you want clean clothes put clothes in hamper instead they are throughout the apartment (yes we live in a 2 bedroom small apt,because he won’t spend more money on rent, I tell him we need bigger he gets pissed) I am constantly doing dishes, I’ve been sick with strep, he has not taken a single sick day and he claimshe can’t, now both kids are sick, I’m not able to rest, he has moved 4 times with work each time further away from my friends and family, now I live 2+ hours away from anyone I know, so I am feeling depressed, cooped and secluded, i lovemy husband, but he seems to want to be around employees and coworkers than his own family, but he’s akways begging for sex and I explain im tired, sick got too much to do, my sex drive is dried up im only 32, and then he says that he wishes he could stay home and do nothing all day, that I have all day to do nothing! I’m feeling disrespected and ignored, when I’m not feeling good he tells me to suck it up and not be a baby but if he’s sick he’s in bed the whole time. He doesn’t like my family so when they have something going on he tried everything tomtext out of going, I don’t know what to do, I’m so depressed and resenting everything I love my babies but I am doing it all by myself, I have no money, no degree, I’m afraid this is making me not as good as a mother as I could be I do everything for my kids and I spend so much time with them, and between my sons appointments and speech therapy and behavioral therapy, I feel like I can’t catch a break I sleep maybe 3-4 hours at night and im just not happy anymore i feel worthless I have no one to talk to even my in laws tell me he’s a great husband and daddy and he works very hard and I need to give him credit. What should I do? Please give me some advice :(

Category: Tags: asked March 5, 2015

2 Answers

Wow thank you both, it's nice to hear from someone else's point of view, thank you for the advice I will be attempting to talk to my husband this evening
It sounds like you need to sit down and have a calm talk with your husband. A talk that might not conclude in a single sitting but might take days or weeks or even months. Explain all of this to him and let him have his say and work out some compromises and changes that can help both of you. It doesn't sound like you have the best communication going on at the moment and it sounds like your husband's idea of your everyday life does not agree with what you have explained it to be here.