sigh… I have a massive massive dilemma that I have no idea what to do about and I have no idea if anyone is going to read this and help me.
Basically almost a year ago a very good friend and I had a MASSIVE massive fallout because lots of friction was going on between us and we both said some awful things and I haven’t spoken to him since. I’m not a bad person, and as much as the angry part of my mind doesn’t want to say, he isn’t either. I’ve had a few dreams where we’ve made up and become friends again but I don’t think that’ll ever happen.
I’m so stubborn that I don’t want to message him on Tumblr but at the same time i’m afraid if I do he’ll say something nasty or mock me or I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss.
I’m not a bad person and I know my actions from that event may define me as a person in his mind but he also did some awful things to me and I hope maybe one day we’ll apologize.
Maybe i’m being stupid because i’m too nice. I really want to message him but I neither know what to say nor if he’ll be nasty to me. My boyfriend doesn’t like him because of some stuff that happened between us and I understand but I feel like I have this massive burden on my shoulders and I don’t know what to do with it.
As long as you don't do something this is going to continue to be a burden for you. You might be stubborn, but you have to take a step. Tell him how you feel. Explain to him you want to talk things out and possibly be friends again. It's your choice. Either you ignore being stubborn and you take that step or you just keep waiting and have it to be a burden for you. Maybe he also wants to fix it and he might be just as stubborn as you are. If you reach out to him and he's mean or something, then at least you know you tried.
Nostalgia never gets you anywhere. If this was truly a mutual fallout and dislike for one another then why should you feel guilty about it? Unless you truly want that person back in your life, it's time to realize that you're holding on to something that's no longer there, which is really hard for some people to do, and let go of the past.
I think it's better to talk it out. If you value your friendship or you feel bad about this situation - write him and try to sort things out. Yeah it's quite risky because you don't know how he'll react. But in the end you'll know whether this person should be present in your life or not.