Without getting into the WHOLE thing because I could write a novel….
My BFF and I had a weird falling out. In short, I was in the middle of the darkest hour of my life and she stopped talking to me. I stopped talking to her too….but I had been at her house crying and she knows I’m not one to reach out when I’m down so usually I tell her what’s up and then she checks on me until I’m back to normal. But this time she just never checked on me. And that’s how it kind of just fizzled after 11 years of being each other’s best girlfriends.
When I look back now, I see the signs that she was getting kind of “over” me. And since I was no longer planning our every other Wednesday date nights we weren’t seeing each other or talking.
SO….I was gonna be in her wedding. I was helping plan it. I was advising her how to tell people that weren’t in it how to tell them they weren’t in it. And then the wedding date changed twice. And during those changes we had a falling out.
And I have [mostly] come to accept that our relationship has changed and that now we’re the type of friends that only see each other when our other high school friends are in town. And I absolutely don’t think I should be in the wedding. But I saw pictures from her bachelorette posted yesterday and it just got me thinking about our lost friendship and its making me sad.
Tomorrow is the wedding. And I want to go and have a great time and celebrate my BFF and her new hubby. But, I just know that when I’m there, and see who ended up in her bridal party, I’m gonna get that punched-in-the-stomach feeling like when I saw the bachelorette photos. Not out of jealousy, but …like a grief of the loss of a friendship.
I’m looking for advice or exercises about how I can help myself get over this a little more tonight so I can have a good time tomorrow!
Obviously I need to talk to her eventually to clear the air since I’m not as over it as I originally thought. But that’s not feasible on her wedding day. Soooo….ANYTHING you have for me I’ll take!