First and foremost, take this link and look at the website. It is very important information that everyone should know about abusers:
Arm yourself with knowledge as you are going out into the adult world Ignore the downvotes, Miss Alyssa. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex.
You are obviously ready to have sex, all that you need concern yourself with now is educating yourself on sex safety. There is a lot of information, and it can begin to seem like paranoia to stay on the lookout for so many things, but personal safety is paramount in life.
There is no "most important" thing about sex. It is all equally important.
You!Learn your menstrual cycle and have sex 3-5 days after your cycle is complete. It is a myth that a woman is capable of becoming pregnant at any given time. There are healthy couples who try for years to become pregnant and do not succeed, but that is why...
Protection!You Should Always Use Condoms:
STDs are not a pretty thing, and though a few of them are curable, some of them are downright lethal. NOTE: condoms will not prevent the spreading of STDs, they only make the chance of exposure smaller.
HAVE YOUR OWN SUPPLY OF CONDOMS, do not expect a man to have a condom ready for use. Some people just hate the things and prefer to not use them. Further precautions should be taken to lessen the chance of pregnancy.
Mace and Stun Guns! Get a few cans of pepper spray and practice pulling it out and using it. Use a common household sprayer to practice with so you don't waste the spray. Use the spray from a distance so you cannot be grabbed and always aim for the eyes and mouth and do not stop spraying until the attacker is on the ground and is not trying to come for you. Tasers are a magnificent deterrent, just do not make the mistake of waving it around. If you have to use pepper spray or a taser, keep a hand on it secretly and pull it out to use it very quickly and without warning. A good taser hit lasts for a minimum of five seconds and should be somewhere sensitive like the left armpit, the back of the neck (though this carries a very strong chance of killing your attacker, this is only in the most extreme of circumstances.) or the genitals. Do NOT be shy about jamming a taser into an attackers' genitals, after all, they wanted to hurt you.
Rape!Rape happens all the time, there are people in the world who would drag you off to have sex with you against your will and hurt you very badly to get it, therefore:
Do not go anywhere alone.Learn ahead of time the local hangout spots in places you want to frequent looking for a hook-up. Know where there are dark places where it would be easy to get snatched while out of sight. Stay in well-lit, populated places.
Types of attacks:
The Blitz Attack: Blitz attacks come first because they are the most violent. This is when you are just outside of a place where you consider yourself safe, so your guard will be down. Blitz attacks happen all at once and are overwhelmingly violent. These attacks can be pure violence, or they can lead to rape or even murder. Do not go anywhere alone, and do not be left alone until you are safely at home and have checked to make sure noone is in your home.
Drugging:
This is a very sneaky thing. This is where an attacker will slip a substance into your food or drink that will make you become very open to suggestion and easy to control, they try to make off with you under the guise of "sending you home". Certain rape drugs even affect your short-term memory so that you physically have no memory of being attacked.
Peer Pressure:
Some attackers use old-fashioned peer pressure to get you into a position where they can overwhelm you. Someone trying to peer pressure you into a vulnerable state will be VERY insistent that you talk to them, they will talk about quickly going away somewhere private and won't like hearing "No". They get defensive when someone else gets too close or interrupts them when they are talking to you. They try to coerce you with sweet words but quickly become easily upset when resisted. Under the Do Not Be Alone rule, DO NOT BE ALONE, these types simply cannot get to you if you're with friends.Moving on from the violence, behavior!
Take Your Time:
Hot hookups happen all the time. Sometimes we just need a mister or miss Right-Now and we don't really care who it is. A pulse and working sex organs will do, however, that can be extremely risky, so it is better to take your time and get to know someone before you have sex with them. There are people in the world who willfully and maliciously spread STDs, but there are also people who don't KNOW they have an STD and spread it by accident. Some STDs do not present symptoms and are still communicable.
Mind Your Manners! This one seems like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised at how quickly manners can go out the window when you're on the prowl for a hot date. Arousal can make us impatient and act like assholes. Mind your manners and you'll do just fine in the dating and hookup scene.
Ask Older Friends:
This is too often an overlooked resource. Make older friends and ask them how to keep safe and how to safely find hookups or dates. Face-to-face advice beats anything else. You can even ask your older friends to wingman with you to give you pointers and keep you safe so you can learn in-person and on-the-job, so to speak.
Get regular medical checkups!In the end it is all about safety, after you put safety first, and what that means, you can browse around all you want. Don't be afraid to look for a friends-with-benefits. People have sex for fun with no strings attached all the time. It is also a myth that it is impossible for two people to have sex without falling in love.
This obviously isn't meant as a one-source guide for getting into sex and the adult world, it rambles and jumps around, but I feel like I covered the major bases. If you have any questions, my inbox is always open.
