I want my ex girlfriend back but what can I do?

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We’ve been broken up for a couple years and were close friends for a while. Then when she started dating someone new, that person didn’t want her around me anymore even though I did favors for her all the time. So we got in an argument over her girlfriend and didn’t talk for a year. Finally we made a plan to hangout and it was very awkward, she wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Before I left I gave her a note, pouring out my heart and all my feelings for her. She didn’t respond for 2 months, and then right before she left for college she said we “couldn’t talk right now, it’s for the best” then she said I should move on with my life and forget her but that maybe we could be friends down the road. It’s been 5 months since all that happened, we haven’t spoken to each other. She’s in college now and once again dating some new girl. I haven’t attempted to contact her or anything, she made it clear she didn’t want us to talk right now. but I’m dying without her, I try to work and keep myself busy. I have a full time job, and I hangout with friends whenever I can. I’ve been trying to take up new hobbies. But nothing seems to work, I just can’t be happy with out her. So moving on is out of the question. Someone please help me find a way to get her back.She’s the love of my life, and my other half. She said I was hers too. What can I do?

Category: Tags: asked December 10, 2013

2 Answers

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Okay, I am going to talk to you, from one person in this same situation to another: I know how you feel in wanting someone back and feeling like you will never be happy. But let me tell you something here...if someone wants to be with you, they will do so. Just like you were able to pour your heart out and tell her that you love her and want her, she would be able to do the same. Easily. I am in the same predicament now. I was engaged to a woman and things were rocky so we broke up. She would creep back in and out of my life and since I love really hard, I'd let her do so. She would ultimately do nothing but use me as her crutch; she's be talking to other women then leading me on and telling me that she wanted me. It DOES NOT feel good to give your all when the other person does nothing. My ex told me I should see other people and live my life but she made me feel like she still wanted me. It was miserable, feeling like someone is ready to take your heart then tosses it aside. I wrote her a letter a week before Thanksgiving and said if you want me, write me back so we can move forward. I've gotten not one letter from her and I know I won't. You know why? Because she doesn't want to love me, she wants to use me. Now let me ask you, does that sound fair to me? Heck no. And its not fair to you to sit and wait around for someone who doesn't want you. I don't want to sound harsh but she doesn't want you. What you have to do for yourself now, you have to realize that you will always have feelings for her but you will be happy with someone else. You will find someone who will write you letters and text and call you with just as much love as you give them. You will find someone who isn't going to use you and tell you "well let's just keep things light as friends", no they will be your lover and best friend. You WILL be happy. You hold your head high and don't contact your ex. You stand for yourself because that's what your ex is doing. Yes it is hard but it's not impossible. Let me tell you that there are days where it hurts and you may grab your phone to call...but think to yourself "do I really want to be alone in a relationship? Do I want be hurt again?" No, it's not. You are better than that. You are worth it. You are meant to be loved, not just an acquaintance. You are a lovely human being with a beautiful heart that most people would kill to have in their lives. Stand up and keep going because you will get what you deserve. But don't go back to that.
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I think you need to accept that she's moved on and that you CAN and WILL be happy without her. You will meet new girls who are actually interested in you. I think you just need to get out of denial with this though and start the grieving process so you can move on with your life ASAP for your own good. Everything is going to be okay.