So, I’ve been single in all my seventeen years of life, and I’ve only ever snogged one guy (which took place about a year ago), subsequently I regretted and was repulsed by the spontaneous encounter. Anyway, ever since a young age, I’d get fed up with guys if I spent too much time with them or if they were being overly nice to me. Now that may seem normal enough to you, but actually, it’s not. I’ve always had crushes with guys (and I think I’ve been in love, considering I’ve been infatuated with the same guy for almost two years now!), however, if I get even the slightest inkling that they may be attracted to me, I’m instantly turned off them! (Not with the guy that I ‘love’, because I know that that love is unrequited, to say the least!) Also, if guys were ever challenged over something by a teacher or fellow classmate, I would be instantly turned off them then as well! I did put a lot of this down to immaturity and perhaps being fussy, but I’m seventeen now and I’m not at all fussy in anything (trust me!) I’ve tried coming up with solutions to stop picking out or exaggerating flaws in guys via the internet and talking to friends, but it’s all too technical and scientific for my liking! What I want to know is, am I alone in this? And is there a way to overcome it, because I would really like a boyfriend! (Btw, when these flaws are identified, I only feel awkward around them and simultaneously, I become unattracted to them, I can’t help it!)

Category: Tags: asked February 20, 2015

3 Answers

Find someone that will, regardless of your opinion towards them in that sense, regardless of how fed up with them you can get, will love you, and treat you with as much respect and compassion as you deserve. And in turn, that will give you incentive, and the drive to do the same for them. It's not a permanent problem, but you can work your way out of it. Learn to accept others flaws, as well as your own.
AHAHAHA!! Perhaps those difficulties were meant to be so that this encounter could happen!!!
You know what you like (and don't like) in a guy. There's nothing wrong with that. I have my preferences, too. But that's the thing: though I prefer a guy who wears thick-rimmed glasses and has the physique of a world cup soccer player, I would never refuse a guy for not having those characteristics. It's all superficial. But that's how humans are. It takes a certain discipline to overlook flaws, no matter how small they are. Don't get me wrong, though; no one is expecting you to overlook someone's low maturity level or morbid sense of humor. Those are legitimate reasons to be turned off. What I like to do when I'm in a sticky situation is to look at it in someone else's perspective. We all have our imperfections, aesthetically or otherwise. But if a guy you were genuinely interested in gave you the cold shoulder because you "challenged a teacher" or simply because of the fact that you liked him, you'd be kind of humiliated and crushed. (I'd just like to point out that there's nothing wrong with challenging authority. You'll see a bunch of that when you're older.) The only way you overcome this is by not looking for Mr.Perfect.